


Beyond a Shadow of a Doubt

by mamamittens



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Just a bit less literal, Plot twists ahead, So Underground is technically still here, Supernatural Elements, Violence, mafiatale
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-27
Updated: 2016-12-06
Packaged: 2018-07-10 14:40:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 26,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6989431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mamamittens/pseuds/mamamittens
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a world where the Barrier was never successfully made, we see the modern day world with monsters roaming free. Discrimination is still alive, but mostly kept under wraps. This, is MafiaTale. Or, my interpretation of it, at least.</p><p>Nadia just wanted to be left alone to quietly paint. Then she fucked up and somehow got dragged into the very thing she'd been avoiding. The gangs that run rampant through the city she lives in. Sans just wanted to repay her for helping out the kid, but she's pretty entertaining to rile up. No one could have seen what comes up next.</p><p>BEING REWRITTEN IN A DIFFERENT STORY. MORE DETAILS LATER.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

            Today was… okay. My little dead end alley undisturbed as usual except for people coming over to purchase or just watch as I turn large stretches of paper into art with mostly spray paint. I wasn’t entirely sure what the alley was originally meant to be with a five foot opening and six feet deep. Perhaps one of the two buildings on either side expanded but didn’t need that small space. I didn’t know, but after roughly seven years of daily use, everyone knew that this was my alley and were happy enough to leave me alone. Exactly how I liked it.

            I made everything from fantasy landscapes to singular objects. I didn’t really do portraits, since it was a little difficult with spray cans, but damn near anything else was fair game. And I made a decent living off of it. More than enough to get by, since I didn’t really need much to begin with. I was more than content to live my solitary life until one. Single. Act. Changed it all.

            It was a rather slow day in September, I already had about five big canvas’ ready for someone to pay for them, when just after four, someone turned sharply into my alley and slammed their back against the wall. It was a kid, probably around twelve with their dark brown hair in an immaculate bob at their shoulders and sharp eyes that I couldn’t quite tell what the color was. They looked a little roughed up, their white button up shirt torn and covered with dirt, the suspenders falling down against their worn brown slacks. Their little brown backpack was clutched to their heaving chest. I could hear the indignant cries of what sounded like teens down the street.

            “GET BACK HERE, YOU MONSTER FREAK!” Ah… this kid had the bad luck of being associated with monsters… briefly, I thought of another kid I once knew who had a similar misfortune. I leaned back against the brick wall and glanced at the propped up paintings… fuck.

            “Hey…” their head jerked over to me and I tilted my head at the large portraits, “You can hide behind that… or don’t… whatever.” I muttered grouchily behind the heavy duty paint mask. They didn’t waste any time scrambling over the tarp, careful not to knock over stray paint cans, and crouching seamlessly behind a 24 by 24 inch painting of a rusty red desert mountain at night. I shrugged and returned to covering a sturdy canvas of a similar size with a teal blue. Within a matter of moments five well-built teens ran by, stopping briefly to either question or intimidate me.

            “You, hobo! Have you seen a kid run by? Brown bob and a dumbass expression?” the taller one asked, his red hair cut so short it looked like he had a sunburn on his scalp. I have him my best dead stare and grabbed a small zippo lighter. I wasn’t going to grace the comment ‘hobo’ with a real response. I was pretty much dressed like one with my overly baggy closed stained and ripped all to hell. My head was covered with a beanie way too big to not slip into my eyes every once in a while. I did look like a hobo.

            “No.” the blonde next to him sneered but quickly backed off when I lit a spray of paint on fire to harden the teal blue on the canvas, “I haven’t.” They were quite fast to leave after that. The kid started to move out from behind the painting.

            “Thank you for hiding me—“

            “Hold on, short stack. They might come back around… if you stay until I finish this I guess I can take a walk around… wherever you happen to live. Hate to get out of shape.” I muttered as I put down a black layer of paint on the bottom half of the canvas. I swear their face lit up in excitement. They sat down at my side and watched as I made an underground cavern with bright blue water. After about twenty minutes I etched my signature into the bottom corner, a curly ‘N’. It looked quite nice all in all.

            “How much are you selling it for?” they asked quietly. I raised it up, considering the quality.

            “Eh. Maybe forty.” I shrugged, setting it up to dry, “Alright, time for me to take a walk… lead the way short stack.” I said, slipping off the paint mask and standing up.

            “Aren’t you worried that someone will… take your paintings?” I snorted and shook my head.

            “Nah. I’ll cover it with a tarp. Most people just walk by unless I’m painting. No one will notice otherwise.” I said, easing myself up and wiping the slightly damp paint from my hands on my pants. The kid jumped over the painting and bounced in excitement. I tossed a tarp over the five dry paintings and set the still wet one to lean against the wall where no one would notice it. I put my hands in my pockets and started forward, stopping just outside the alley and waiting… waiting… still waiting… “Kid… I’m not your stalker. _Lead the way_.” they jolted out of their thoughts and wound an arm around my own, winking at me as they started walking. Finally.

            Surprisingly, they lived relatively close. It was only a fifteen minute walk to a cute little house in the residential area with a large bare tree in the front yard. They walked faster to the front door before stopping. I looked down at them for a moment. Really? I let out a sigh and knocked. A few seconds later the door opened. Oh. That’s why those teens were chasing the kid.

            “Greetings, can I help— Oh, my child! Who’s your friend?” the tall furry monster asked softly, her eyes a soft red that was offset by the dark purple dress she wore. If I had to saw what kind of animal she reminded me of, it would probably be a goat with her white fur, long ears, and short horns.

            “Hey mom, they helped hide me and walked me home!” the woman’s eyes narrowed.

            “Those kids bothering you again?” her voice stern before she softened and looked at me, “Thank you for helping my child, may I have your name?” she asked, holding out her furry hand (paw?). I put my hand out and shook my head.

            “Might not want to shake my hand, I’m a bit of a mess right now and your fur is white. But I’m Nadia, I wanted to take a walk anyway.” I replied. She nodded her head in understanding.

            “I am Toriel Dreemurr, is there anything I can do to repay you?” I shook my head and ruffled the kids hair. It wasn’t really a stretch, the kid was just reaching my chest, their… mother figure? Well, Toriel was actually quite a bit taller than me, my head reaching just under her chest.

            “Nah… I’m going to head off now. Try not to run into those jerks again, kid.” I said dismissively and started walking away. There. My good deed for the day. Now back to my peaceful life.

\--Obvious foreshadowing is obvious. Hah. Puns.—

            Toriel set the food on the table, Frisk having already set out the plates for their two guests tonight. Just on time, the doorbell rang.

            “Frisk, my child, would you answer the door?” she asked gently. Frisk nodded and went to the door, squealing as Papyrus lifted them up into the air.

            “FRISK! I SEE YOU ARE IN GOOD HEALTH!” The tall skeleton proclaimed, his suit jacket having been removed prior. Sans stood next to him, grinning happily at the affectionate display, his own suit lacking a tie, jacket, and his shirt wasn’t tucked into his waistband. But that was typical of Sans.

            “Hey, Tori. How’ve ya been?” he asked.

            “Well. You’re just in time for dinner.” She stated.

            “Uncle Sans! I was saved today!” Papyrus set Frisk down and Sans raised a bony brow.

            “Oh really, kid? What happened?” he asked.

            “Ryan and his friends were chasing after me again when this beautiful angel with the prettiest gray eyes let me hide! Then, they even walked me home!” Frisk said, mock-swooning.

            “THEY SOUND MOST HONORABLE!” Papyrus exclaimed.

            “Yeah, and when mom offered a reward, they refused!” Frisk said.

            “HOW EXTRAORDINARILY HONORABLE!” Papyrus said happily.

            “About that, Sans, would you mind doing me a favor? They wouldn’t accept anything in return… would you perhaps keep an eye out for Nadia? One good turn deserves another, and I know you will be able to find at least _something_ to do in return for helping Frisk.” Sans let out a sigh and rubbed the back of his skull.

            “I don’t know, Tori. Work in the Underground has been picking up a bit lately… the Wizard gang has been getting… _antsy_.” Sans said.

            “YOU LAZY BONES, SURELY ON ONE OF YOUR _BREAKS_ , YOU CAN LOOK INTO THIS NADIA!”

            “Oh! Oh! I know where she stays! I’d never met her, but I have _heard_ of her. Spray Paint Nadia, they call her! She lives on South Burns Street in an alley… well, no one knows if she actually _lives_ there. She leaves every night but comes back in the morning. She makes paintings and sells them.” Frisk explained in excitement. Sans looked between his brother, Tori, and Frisk. It was obvious that they all wanted to repay this Nadia.

            “Fine… I’ll keep an eye socket out.” Sans said, giving in.

            “Thank you, Sans. I made a pie for dessert. Cinnamon butterscotch pie. My special recipe.” Toriel said.

            “No problem, Tori. It’ll be a _piece of pie_.” Sans said. He had a feeling this would be more trouble than he expected.


	2. Don't Rain on my Parade

            The next day was very similar to the day before. Right down to the sudden appearance of an androgynous kid. This time, though, they weren’t being pursued. Which was probably a good thing, but didn’t explain their presence in my alley. I slapped a post it note on the painting I made just yesterday with the price of 40 bucks.

            “What do ya want, short stack?” I asked as I set up a fresh 20 by 24 canvas. They skipped over to my side and sat down, “Oh, by all means, please do sit down. Not like I’m about to spray harmful chemicals in this general area.” The kid giggled.

            “What are you making this time?” I gave them a look and reached into my bag of spare equipment.

            “A dead kid unless you wear this. I don’t want tall and fluffy coming after my a--… butt.” I gave them a look as they slid on the paint mask, “I don’t want your mom coming after me. Speaking of, don’t you have to go home or something?” They shrugged their shoulders.

            “I’m waiting for my uncle.” Their voice was muffled slightly.

            “Oh. I wasn’t aware my alley was a carpool area.” I muttered bitterly, grabbing the orange and red spray cans before going nuts. After that I grabbed a lighter and lit it on fire, enjoying the brief jolt the kid had. Then, I covered it all in black paint.

            “Kid! Kid? Kid, where are ya—Oh. Found ya.” I looked up briefly to see a skeleton in a baggy blue sweatshirt and black sweatpants. Fluffy pink house shoes completed the look.

            “Uncle Sans!” the kid cried out, jumping clear over the tarped area and embracing the skeleton.

            “Almost didn’t recognize ya with that thing over your face. What is it, anyway?” I gave the skeleton a look as I began gently scrapping off small parts of the painting with a scrap of paper.

            “Safety first.” was the only reply I gave as I slowly made a fiery red rose. Sans grunted as the kid removed the mask and tossed it to me with a wink.

            “Well, I better walk ya home, kid, before your mom starts to worry. It was nice meeting you…?” I gave him another look as I painted a spray of green on a spare page of newspaper and got a paintbrush.

            “Nadia. Pleasure.” The white lights in his eye sockets narrowed slightly.

            “Oh, so you’re the person Fisk talked about yesterday? Thanks… so, do you just sit here and paint all day?” I raised a brow and gently completed the stem, bits of yellow adding highlights.

            “No… I sell them too.” I said dismissively, flicking yellow dashes over the various parts of the rose. Sans grunted.

            “Well, then… I’ll be seeing you around, Nadia.” Sans said, reaching out to hold hands with who I now knew was called Frisk.

            “Doubtful…” I muttered as he walked out of site, adding my signature at the bottom of the painting, “…About 30 bucks, I think.” I nodded decisively and set that one up to dry.

            In the span of thirty minutes two people walked by and bought a painting each. I made almost a hundred dollars. Not bad. But then the skeleton came back. He leaned against the wall for several minutes, watching as I made an underwater castle with bubbles in rainbow hues.

            “…Why did you do it?” I looked up from the cut up paper cup I was using to make bubbles, “Hide the kid?” I let out a sigh.

            “No reason not to.” I looked at the painting in consideration before spraying streaks of white from the top edge to make rays of light.

            “…Why didn’t you ask for anything in return?”

            “For what?” I looked up at him in boredom, “Letting a kid squat behind a painting? That’s a pretty steep price for almost no effort.” I muttered mutinously. Painting my signature in the bottom corner before setting that one up to dry as well.

            “…You have a home?”

            “Do you have a life?” I shot back at him, that infernal grin growing wider somehow, “Honestly, I don’t mind you watching, people do it often enough anyway… but there really is no need to try and make small talk.” I growled irritably. Honestly, what did this joker want?

            “No need for attitude. It’s just my a- _spray_ -tion to make new friends.” I snorted a little.

            “More like a _canned_ excuse to be _nosey_ … so to speak.” I said, thumbing my own nose mockingly, “I use newspapers for my artwork… do you think I don’t recognize your very _distinctive_ face, Sans?” I asked, raising up a paint smeared article from a few months back about his arrest for suspicion of being involved in a gang. I shook my head, “Bad things happen to people associated with monsters nowadays, Sans. I’m sure the kid will be fine, but I’d rather not get a target painted on my back.” I said with a bitter taste in my mouth.

            “Then you’ll let me repay you for helping out the kid.” I gave him a look.

            “That a threat? It’s an odd one if so…” I muttered, “Just leave me alone and consider us even.” I stated simply. Sans shook his head.

            “Nah… my bro wouldn’t ever shut up if I just did that… you never answered my question, by the way. About having a home.” I glared at him.

            “I don’t have a _home_ … not anymore.” I growled. Sans narrowed his eye sockets at me before walking away without another word. Good riddance. I looked at the small array of paintings, that bitter iron taste filling my mouth. It was going to rain tomorrow. I’ll need to stash my paintings somewhere so they wouldn’t get ruined.

\--So what is a mafia gang like anyway?—

            The day after his enlightening _chat_ with the human, Nadia, Sans was a little curious. He wasn’t surprised she recognized him. No, there was a minor slip up where he was detained for several hours but the Underground’s network pulled through and got him an alibi for a crime he actually did commit. He had to lay low for a while, but that was only a good thing in his book. More time to laze about and hang around with his bro.

            What he was actually curious about was why she seemed so… bitter. And not about the fact that he was a monster, either, but that he was likely in a gang. Which he was, but _she_ shouldn’t know that. Which was why he was stopping by the Temmie’s place. It was an apartment with more Temmies than anyone knew for sure. If you wanted info, though, they were who you went to. As long as you had Temmie Flakes, you were good. He knocked on the door of a shitty apartment and it opened up.

            Temmies were… weird. Monsters in general were a bit weird, but Temmies took the plate. They looked sort of like dogs with the slim form of cats with black bobs that offset the white fur.

            “HoI! Im TeMMie!” Sans nodded and handed the overactive Temmie a box of Temmie Flakes, the odd creature turning ecstatic, “TeM FLaKES! I LoOVe TEm FlAkeS!” Sans waited for a moment.

            “What can you tell me about Nadia, Spray Paint Nadia?” he asked, the Temmie vibrating for several seconds.

            “Oh! TeM LoV HeR PanTInG! ShAMe FoR THinG… TEM! NAdIa PApEr PlZ!” the Temmie shouted into the apartment, another Temmie shoving a paper forward, “DeR Ya GO! CoMe BaCK AgAIN!” Temmie proclaimed, handing him the newspaper article before slamming the door. Talking to Temmies always gave him a headache. Looking down, he saw it was an accident report for about a year ago. Interesting…

\--What? Did you think Nadia was going to have a happy background too?—

            The next day was rainy as hell, so I wasn’t selling any paintings today. Instead I just hung around, enjoying the dull cool of the rain as I watched people walk by. I had been here all day, basically unmoving and had long since lost all sense of temperature. I had to stash my painting in _that_ place… I hated going back there. Too many memories in the walls.

            “Hey!” I looked up, blinking the raindrops away from my eyelashes. It was Frisk with what seemed to be a taller relative of Sans.

            “HUMAN! ARE YOU AWARE IT IS RAINING QUITE HEAVILY? WHERE IS YOUR UMBRELLA?” I gave the very loud and well-dressed skeleton a blank look as he held up a heavy duty umbrella.

            “Nadia, just because you’re hot doesn’t mean you should stay out in the rain like this!” Frisk cried out, running over to try and pull me over to their skeleton friend and the shelter of the umbrella.

            “I’m fine—“

            “YOU ARE NADIA! THIS WON’T DO AT ALL! I INSIST, FOR THE GREAT HELP YOU GAVE FRISK THAT YOU COME WITH US FOR PROPER CARE!” I reluctantly allowed Frisk to pull me up

            “Who even are you?” I asked. The tall skeleton blinked before beaming.

            “I AM THE GREAT PAPYRUS! NOW COME ALONG, HUMAN NADIA! TO TORIEL’S HOUSE!” he declared, grabbing Frisk’s hand and leading us away. I sighed, resigning myself to this nonsense. I didn’t like any of this, but there wasn’t much of a point with arguing. Seems like I can’t ever change anything that matters anyway, why should it change now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear I this one seems to be going pretty fast. I meant for it to be a bit slower, but whatever. I still don't intend for it to be a romance, by the way. I guess shit just tends to go to hell quicker if the mafia is involved, doesn't it? Well, if you guys have any questions or concern, please just ask away. I also have a tumblr, but i'm mostly just getting used to it existing. Not terribly good with it so far, so if you prefer to communicate with Tumblr, that is an option. My username is identical to this one. Mamamittens. So far, it's just a plug for my AO3 account, but who knows? It might become something more. Oh, and fuck Temmies. They're a pain to write. Almost as bad as Undertale Sans with his all lower caps. I hope you enjoyed this chapter!


	3. Is the Plot Supposed to Thicken here, or just Boil?

            So, there I was… just standing in front of the door, dripping wet from the rain as Toriel scurried off to get a few towels. Frisk wasn’t wet enough to warrant much more than a change of clothes. Papyrus was also more than ready to help in whatever way possible. That, apparently, included grabbing a spare change of clothes that Sans had left behind. Why Sans? Well, he’s the only person, human _or_ monster, that was close enough to my size. If I tried to wear something of Frisk’s, I’d look ridiculous. Not, however, as ridiculous as if I tried to wear something of Toriel’s.

            Speaking of, the lady herself came back down with a few towels and Papyrus just behind her with a white shirt and slacks. I was completely mute as Toriel removed my soaked beanie, revealing the waist length, ratty ash blond locks that I rarely had time to brush and take care of. Without a word about my appearance, she placed an unfolded towel over my head and gently started to rub my hair dry. My throat felt a little… constricted. It had been… _years_ since I felt such tender motherly affections. When my hair was dry enough to not create a river behind me, Papyrus handed me the clothes and Toriel gave me the other towel.

            “Just head down the hall. Second door on the right, you can shower and change in there.” I heaved a sigh, knowing that I might as well just follow along anyway. I slipped off my ratty shoes and gently placed them by the door, padding into the mentioned bathroom quietly. It was quite nice. Nothing fancy. I tried not think too hard on the tiled floors and clean white counters. After a brief struggle to find out how the shower worked (why is every shower so different?! They serve the same damn function!) I quickly cleaned up before drying off. It had been quite some time since I used an actual bathroom and not a public restroom to clean up, so I learned how to clean with maximum efficiency… not that I didn’t enjoy the hot water for several minutes.

            I was glad that Sans was a bit bigger than me. I was so used to baggy clothing, I wasn’t sure what I’d do if the clothes were a tight fit. I wrapped my clothes up in a tight wad and left the bathroom to find Frisk practically dancing from one foot to the other.

            “Ugh… Sorry? Did you need to pee or something?” I asked rather uncertainly, only for the little shit to grab my dirty clothes and run into a different room. Judging by the sounds of a washer running shortly after, I can assume that Frisk firmly believed that my old clothes had to be washed. Feeling a little miffed I walked down the hallway barefooted, the smooth polished wood a very… odd feeling under my feet. From the living room I could see Toriel making something in the kitchen. Papyrus happened to glance in my direction and lit up like a firework.

            “HUMA-I mean… Human Nadia, I see you have cleaned up quite nicely! Come, sit and enjoy this informational documentary about deep sea creatures with me! Oh, and you as well, Frisk!” Papyrus declared, quickly shifting his tone after a sharp glare from Toriel. Sighing, I let myself be dragged by the short stack to the couch, sitting between Frisk and Papyrus.

            “Hey, Naida?” I looked over at them and raised a brow, “Can I braid your hair?” I let out a sigh and turned slightly so they could actually reach my hair.

            “Knock yourself out, kid.” I pulled my knees to my chest and watched about the perplexing complexity of undersea life, Frisk nimbly braiding my hair with only a few tugs to show for it.

            “Your hair’s so pretty, Nadia! Almost as pretty as you.” Frisk said smugly. I glanced back with an indulgent smile.

            “And you’re a _shameless flirt_.” I shot back. I noticed how no one tried to deny my retort. Toriel came out of the kitchen and smiled happily.

            “Dinner will be ready shortly. Nadia, I _insist_ you stay. At least for the night.” Well, that won’t do.

            “There’s really no need. I’ll be _fine_.” I stressed, cursing inwardly when, not five seconds later, a heavy roll of thunder shook the window panes. Wow… It was raining _pretty fucking hard_. Sighing once more, I slumped into the couch cushions in defeat. Short of doing something dramatic, there was no way they’d let me get away tonight.

            “Nope. You’re staying.” Frisk chirped happily. I stuck my tongue out at them, feeling a little childish. At least dinner smelled good. Not that I was really all that hungry in the first place. The documentary had just started talking about whale migrations when Toriel announced dinner was ready. Papyrus pretty much _leapt_ into the kitchen, Frisk following shortly after with a rather tight grip on my hand.

            Toriel had made a rather impressive spread consisting of Pot Roast, mashed potatoes, and corn with a side of bread rolls. All of it appearing to be freshly made. Politely, I only asked for a glass of water and waited until at least someone started eating before I did. To be honest, the food was _divine_. There was an odd… warmth to it that I couldn’t attribute to literal temperature or spice though… Regardless, it made the forced situation a little easier to handle… okay, a _lot_ easier.

            “The food is perfection, Ms. Toriel.” I stated simply after eating a bit of the very succulent roast. Toriel seemed to blush.

            “Thank you Nadia.”

            “Her cooking’s so good because she uses fire magic to cook! It even has light healing properties, isn’t that fascinating, Nadia?” Papyrus asked. I paused briefly to take in that bit of information before nodding. That explained the odd warmth I sensed.

            “With cooking this good, I doubt you need to use much fire magic to give it that special _touch_.” I said carelessly. The conversation from there was much more… typical.

            “How was school today, my child?”

            “Good! No one tried to pick on me! Hey, Papyrus, where’s Sans?” Okay, so it wasn’t entirely typical.

            “My brother is running an errand! I imagine he’d be _done_ by now if he wasn’t such a lazy bones!” Papyrus exclaimed.

            “Too bad, I bet he’d have plenty of puns to make about that documentary!” Frisk said with a rather evil grin. Papyrus let out a soft but indignant screech.

            “It is just as well that he _did not_! My brother is an absolute pun _fiend_!” Papyrus said with no real heat. I finished the last of my mashed potatoes and paused briefly to give a small comment.

            “Sounds rather… _fishy_.” I then proceeded to completely ignore the amused chuckles from Toriel and Frisk, as well as the rather sour expression Papyrus made. I wasn’t entirely sure _how_ , but I knew that he would be pursing his lips… if he had any.

\--I _swear_ , this isn’t supposed to be a romance!—

            Sans showed up at Tori’s place rather late. Late enough that his brother and Frisk were probably already asleep, and he didn’t have the _heart_ (literally and metaphorically) to wake up either one. That could wait until morning. Asgore had a rather… strange relationship with his ex-wife, Toriel. In fact, technically speaking, Tori’s their actual boss, not Asgore. A few years back, they used to work side by side as husband and wife. Then… then the _incident_ happened. Asgore… he didn’t handle it well, and devised a plan to protect his wife, like he couldn’t protect his children. Publicly, they were divorced. But in reality, they were still technically married. Tori acted as cold as ice to keep the heat off of herself and Frisk while Asgore continued the Underground as Boss.

            Sans and his brother are actually the two liaisons for Tori and Asgore. They looked after Tori as low-key as possible, receiving light duty (which made Sans appear quite lazy and people thought Papyrus didn’t get many missions because of his personality) as a consequence. If there was ever a problem with the competition, they’d likely go after Tori first, because she was a loose end. That’s where they came in. Naturally. So, on the outside, it just looked like they were partial to their old boss rather than secretly working security for Tori and Frisk.

            This rather delicate balance was, in part, why he was so surprised to see a stranger sleeping on the couch. In fact, it took him several moments to realize why the stranger seemed familiar. It was Nadia. Without that weird hat, which _apparently_ hid quite a bit of pale blond hair. And in his spare clothes rather than their own, actually, which was a little odd as well. But, used to the odd ways of his brother, it didn’t take more than a few seconds to piece together what likely happened. As though his brother, the soft bones he was, could possibly let the human stay outside in the rain. Especially after helping out Frisk. Tori always looked so torn up when Frisk came home with a few bruises and cuts from bullies.

            Carefully, being unable to help himself, he pulled a blanket over the prone body of the human. It was tempting to check their Soul or Stats while they were asleep, but if Tori every found out he did so without permission, he’d be sharply reminded of why Tori was Asgore’s equal, in every way. So, reluctantly, he walked out of the living room to bunk with his brother. He was _bone_ tired.

\--No, seriously, not supposed to be a romance. FML.—

            I opened my eyes and watched the shorter skeleton walk to his room, briefly touched at his rather sweet gesture. I relaxed into the cushions some more, enjoying the growing warmth I was blanketed in, pun intended. I didn’t really sleep much, but that didn’t mean I was against relaxing for long periods of time… it was… _peaceful_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, in case you haven't picked it up yet, this is not supposed to be a romance, but i'm getting little red romance flags here and there... Oh, and I can't guarantee daily updates at the moment, but I am trying right now. Still not used to my Tumblr thing, either. Seems a little redundant *shrugs*.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and there will be an interesting development in the next one, if I have anything to say about it. Mostly based on a joke that Tumble can no longer use because they know better now. That vague comment will make sense, I promise. (if you've read We Are All Falling and remember the brief joke early on, that is).


	4. Like My Soul...

            The morning brought sunshine and a rather perky Papyrus at almost seven in the morning.

            “Good morning, Nadia! Would you like some coffee? It’s almost the only thing that will wake my brother up in the mornings!” He asked happily in a rather adorable pair of light orange footie pajamas. I didn’t know they made onesies for _anyone_ as tall as Papyrus. But he rocked it, so whatever.

            “Sure. I’ll take it black… like my _Soul_.” I said, folding the blanket up neatly and placing it at the end of the couch. Papyrus flinched a little and looked back at me.

            “N-Nadia! You do know… that Souls aren’t _black_ , right? Particularly human Souls?” I sniggered.

“Usually, it’s just an expression, but I’m fairly certain _mine_ is black. No need for the concern, though. It’s great camouflage.” I snickered as the coffee pot began to boil. Papyrus shifted on his feet awkwardly as Sans shuffled into the kitchen with Toriel and Frisk behind him. I fought back a laugh at the skeleton printed onesie Sans wore. In fact, it actually matched the one Frisk wore, though Toriel was just wearing a night gown with a fluffy pink robe. How cute.

            “Hey bro. Coffee done yet?”

            “No, brother, but it will be so shortly… Sans?” Sans looked up, briefly more awake than before, “Can you explain to Nadia that her Soul is _not_ black?” Sans gave me a look before sitting down at the kitchen table, letting Papyrus pour a cup of coffee for the both of us.

            “Cute phrase, but trust me, kid. Your Soul is not black.” I grinned a little. And sipped the strong black coffee.

            “Oh, trust _me_ , skelie, it is.” Sans gave Toriel a look.

            “You mind if I correct the human, Tori?” Toriel gave Sans a look.

            “Not at the kitchen table, Sans. And make sure you _ask_ first.” she said sternly. Sans reluctantly got up from his seat and shuffled into the living room, pausing next to me only briefly.

            “This should be good… consider me asked, Sans.” I said in amusement, standing up and walking into the living room with Sans. I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do, so I just stood there for a few seconds.

            “’Kay, kid, first off, Souls are real. Souls, human Souls in particular, come in a variety of colors. Each color means a specific trait that is most dominant in that human. For example…” The world flashed to black and white, suddenly the two of us were in a black void with a text box in front of me. It was completely empty. Sans looked quite disturbed, his eye sockets completely void of light.

            “Like I said. Black. Like my coffee.” I said, looking at the four glitching options in consideration. They wavered and flickered like candle flames in a breeze. I doubt they’d take it well if I used Fight. I didn’t have any items, so that one was out. Didn’t know what I’d even do with Act. So, Mercy it is. I reached for the button but a very firm and… dark voice stopped me.

            “W H A T  A R E  Y O U? W H Y  D O N ‘ T  Y O U  H A V E  A  S O U L?” I gave him a look.

            “Rude. You just can’t see it because the background is black.” Sans left eye lit up and he raised his hand. Before I could even move a flurry of bright blue bones whipped by me, briefly showing the tattered black Soul I had, wisps of black smoke coming off of it. He stopped and looked at me.

**Sans is offering you Mercy.**

            “Kid… use Mercy.” I raised a brow.

            “What did you think I was going to do, bone head? Do the cha cha slide?” I pressed the button and the world returned to normal.

            “How did you know your Soul was black?” Sans asked as we both walked back into the kitchen.

            “Sans, one of the most important things in life is to know oneself, above all else… out of curiosity, what color were you expecting?” I gave him a look as I sat back down and took a generous sip of my coffee. Sans shrugged.

            “I WAS—I mean, I was expecting it to be green, because you’re quite kind, Nadia!” Papyrus exclaimed. I gave him a look too and snorted.

            “Yeah… because there’s probably not a color for a wonderful personality.” I muttered.

            “There is! Red! That’s my color! It means Determination!” I almost choked on my coffee.

            “Y-You sure red doesn’t stand for Flirty, Casanova?” I said teasingly. Toriel giggled a little.

            “Hey, Tori, would you mind looking into what black means? I’ve never seen a Soul with that color before…” Sans said. I rolled my eyes.

            “Trust me, my Soul is the least of my problems.” I muttered, “And besides, it’s time for me to head out. Grab my supplies. No rest for the wicked and all that.” I said casually, standing up to change into my old clothes and leave.

            “Wait! You don’t have to go! You can stay for breakfast.” I shook my head at Toriel.

            “No, I’ve stayed long enough. Thank you for your hospitality, though. I appreciate the gesture. Have a good day.” I said, quickly retreating into the bathroom to change. I didn’t have the heart to undo the braid, so I just stuffed it into my beanie. Fit better anyway. Once all my clothes were back on, I neatly folded the spare clothes I slept in and set them on the counter. I wasn’t sure what else to do. Frisk was waiting outside the bathroom again, bouncing from one foot to the other. I hesitated and reached for the clothes but they wrapped their arms around my waist instead.

            “I-I can still come around and visit, right?” I awkwardly patted their head.

            “Uhm… at least until I discover how to make force fields around my alley… hey now, I ain’t dropping off the face of the earth or anything…” They nodded their head and withdrew.

            “Bye, Nadia.”

            “Bye kid. Have a good day.” I said, then walked out the front door to head back to my alley.

\--Didn’t expect that phrase to be literal, did you?—

            I had been in my alley for about an hour when a shifty fellow came by and stood there for several moments, his black eyes staring down at me angrily.

            “…May I help you?” I asked lightly. The man sneered down at me.

            “Yeah. Give those freaks my regards in hell.” He raised a gun and leveled it at my chest.

            “Sure. Right and I’ll tell your mother that you’re feeling great while I’m at it.” I shot back. A loud burst of a gun-shot echoed down the empty street. The man ran away several seconds later, dumping his gun at a drop off point and putting away his gloves. Mission accomplished.

\--What?—

            Sans didn’t have much of a choice but to report Nadia to Asgore. Including the strange status of her Soul. Asgore looked… stressed.

            “I’d like to meet Nadia. Bring her by this afternoon… I must be sure she isn’t a threat… what… what is your opinion of her?” Sans shifted his feet.

            “Well, boss… she’s contrary. Acts rough around the edges but is rather polite. Papyrus wouldn’t have allowed her to go with them to Tori’s if she was terribly bad. Frisk’s a good judge of character too, so she probably isn’t that bad… still really weird. Usually, humans aren’t aware that they _have_ a Soul. Let alone be dead on about the color.” Sans sighed, “But I guess I’ll bring her around later. As a _guest_ , right?” Asgore nodded.

            “For the time being. I’ll have Dr. Alphys bring me a file on her if possible.” Sans chuckled.

            “What? Don’t like the Temmies?” Asgore looked a little pale.

            “They’re fine citizens but… well, they’re Temmies.” Asgore stated simply. Sans laughed and nodded his head. Yeah… that about sums it up. Now, to go get Nadia and bring her around… this ought to be good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh man, can't wait to see what happened there! It's not that I hate romance, I just finished one, really cute and everything! I just... didn't intend for it to be one and it's a little weird that it's kind of looking like it will be one anyway. If you guys have any questions or concerns, or even requests, ask away! I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, cause I certainly did.


	5. Window Pain

            “Fucking punk ass bitch.” I muttered, tossing the now ruined painting into the trash bin. There was no way to sell the painting with a large bullet hole in it. Not to mention the shadowy blemish now covering a large portion of what used to be a very nice sunset. Whatever.

            “Run into trouble?” I turned my head. Apparently, Sans had watched the whole time while I tossed the painting.

            “Nah. Some joker thought that their abysmal aim would frighten me…” I snorted and shook my head. I gave him a look, “So… are you stalking me now or did you actually need something?” Sans’ grinned seemed to tighten.

            “I need to take you to see my boss.” I gave a huff and rolled my eyes.

            “Really? What part of ‘I’d rather not’ was hard for you to understand?” Sans rolled his shoulders.

            “Nothin’. But orders are orders… you going to make this difficult on yourself or are you going to come quietly?” I gave him a look.

            “Fine. Let me hide my things. Hate for some asshole to swipe my paintings for free.” I started stacking up the paintings and putting them into a bag. That bag was then slide under the dumpster across the street.

            “Nice hiding spot. Grab my hand.” I looked at him.

            “What?” I gave him a look. He rolled his eyes. Eye lights. Whatever. I reached out and grabbed his hand, appreciating the rather novel sensation of individual phalanges gripping back. He tugged hard and I stumbled into his chest. Between one moment and the next we were suddenly just outside a warehouse. It sounded like we were near a water. A port?

            “Come on, _water_ you waiting for? Boss is inside.” I rolled my eyes and let him pull me into the warehouse. It was rather spacious and empty, save for three nice and plush chairs. On the biggest chair was a rather large and furry male version of Toriel. With a rather magnificent blonde beard. And a nice black suit. He looked so kind, like he wouldn’t ever harm a hair on anyone. Too bad he was the leader of the biggest Monster Gang ever. Sure, he wasn’t _publicly_ a gang leader, but I think we all know that the most influential people rarely allow themselves to be in the spotlight. The man smiled.

            “Ah, Nadia, is it? Thank you for agreeing to see me. Why don’t you two take a seat? I’m afraid this may take some time…” yeah… I’m afraid of that too, damn it all. I swallowed down the uncomfortable memories rising to the surface. They tapped against that ever-present wall of glass that separated me from everything else. I sat down and briefly appreciated how comfortable the chair was. Yes, this was a very nice chair.

            “So… I don’t suppose you just wanted a commission, did you?” I asked dully. The Boss monster shook his head.

            “No, I’m afraid not… But first—introductions! I am Asgore Dreemurr… I’m a little embarrassed to admit I already know who you are. I thought that… perhaps I should meet you in person after hearing about your exploit with my ex-wife’s adopted child, Frisk.” I heaved a sigh.

            “This is getting ridiculous. I didn’t cure Frisk of a deadly disease or anything! I just let them hide. Honestly, I’m starting to think this is a monster thing.” I muttered at the end. Asgore looked a little sheepish but continued.

            “Well, regardless of how _you_ feel about it, you did help Frisk in their time of need. _Then_ , Tori sheltered you in her home. For all of our… troubles, she is still dear to me. I was hoping to get some… insight into you as a person. And perhaps an explanation for your… Soul.” I raised a brow at Asgore.

            “That’s a little forward.” I couldn’t help the snicker at how quickly the two monsters blanched, “I’m kidding. If it’s about the color of my Soul, well, that’s easy. A Soul… darkens when a human allows it too. Either in depression or other dark emotions. It just… happens. So, technically, it’s still whatever color it was meant to be, but because of certain… events, it appears to be black. The end. Can I go now?” The two monsters looked rather… disheartened at that. Not to mention filled with pity.

            “Ah… it is because of… the accident, isn’t it?” I gave Asgore a sharp look.

            “Among other things.” I said icily. Asgore rubbed a paw over his face.

            “I hate to ask this of you, since you seem to be quite alright on the subject so far… but do you have any ill will towards monsters? Because, if you do, then I’d recommend you not act on that ill will, else I be forced to do something drastic.” Asgore said, the air growing heavy, “Especially if that ill will leads you to the Magician gang.” I was on the dark end of a very hard stare. If I wasn’t on the other side of a very thick emotional glass wall, I’d likely be intimidated. But I was, so… whatever.

            “Okay, you seem like a very nice monster, Asgore, so I’m going to assume you don’t intend to be rude or anything in even suggesting I want to ever go to the Magician gang. For anything. Not… not after what they did. Not ever.” Asgore looked quite confused and I took a moment to gather myself, “Like I already told Sans… people associated with monsters don’t usually have a good time. I… I don’t hate monsters. Really. I don’t. I could play the blame game all day long, I really could, but monsters would still be only hold a small portion of responsibility. Not enough to really matter.” Asgore looked like he finally figured out what I was referring to.

            “Oh… you are referring to… the Monster Ally Massacre, are you not.” I sucked in sharp breath. Even through the glass wall, I could feel the sharp sting from just hearing about it. Sans looked frozen. The Monster Ally Massacre… a very dark day in this city.

            “Who did you lose, Nadia?” there was a long moment of silence before I spoke.

            “…He wasn’t supposed to be there. We lived quite a way from where monsters ever went at the time. Never even met one in person… and yet… he paid the price for it.” I swallowed down the very large lump in my throat, “So. No. Rest assured. I’d never go to… _them_. Not. Ever. Are you satisfied yet or is there some other past event you’d like to stab with a scalpel? I think I threw up in school one day when I was five, wanna talk about that?” I asked angrily. Asgore let out a sigh.

            “I…I apologize for bringing up unpleasant memories, Nadia. Sans… if you would please return her back? Thank you for indulging me.” Asgore said, “If… If you wouldn’t mind, can you tell me one last thing? Who was it that died that day?” he asked, his dark eyes shimmering with tears. I looked down, pulling my sleeves slightly.

            “We both know that very few of them died that day exactly… but, between that day… and the following week. I lost my little brother to those assholes… he was only eight.” I let out a deep breath, “I regret letting him leave the most, out of everything I’ve ever done. If I had stopped him…” I shook my head, standing up from my seat and turning around, refusing to look at the two monsters. “Just take me back, Sans…” I said tightly.

\--If I had to pin Mettaton down to one mafia related job, I’d say lawyer or pimp.—

            Sans shared a long look with Asgore before patting Nadia on the back. He could see why she’d let her Soul turn black if her little brother died. He wouldn’t handle Papyrus’ death very well himself. Gently, he steered Nadia out of the building and briefly covered her eyes so she wouldn’t stare into the Void. Then, they were in front of her alley.

            “Here we go. Say, want me to look into the guy that bothered you earlier?” He asked, trying to think of something, anything, to relieve the situation. She shook her head.

            “Hah! Nah, trust me Sans… I can handle myself. I’m just… just going to take a walk for a bit. Clear my head.” Nadia said, bypassing the dumpster that she hid her paintings under entirely. He watched her walk away for several moments. Then… he got curious. He felt his sins crawling down his spine as he opened up the dumpster and looked at the portrait on top, then the sins dissipated entirely. The painting depicted a very picturesque sunset. But, the canvas was torn by a bullet hole. Surrounding the bullet hole was a splatter of… odd and thick soot-like residue.

            At the back of his skull, he recalled how the families of the Monster Ally Massacre discovered the death of their loved ones. In boxes at their home’s doorstep.

\--Where did she go?—

            The walk was a little long, but I really needed it. The streets I chose to walk along were mostly deserted. All the way until I reached the graveyard. It was rather large, housing the cities dead, and I passed hundreds of tombstones on my way to the three that mattered to me most. A white tulip each for the grave of my mother, father, and my little brother. Right between my father’s grave and my brother’s was an empty lot… meant for me. That glass wall thrummed with the echoing vibrations of pain. Out of all the emotions, pain was the strongest to come across. To this day, I wasn’t certain if I deserved that grave… not even the promise of it.

            Not when I can still smell the rotting head of my brother and the light scent of ashes covering his terrified expression. The ashes of the bodies of everyone taken in the Monster Ally Massacre, not even separated individually, meant to mock the way monsters turn to dust upon death.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the plot thickens! One: You cheeky little shit! I'm afraid that, at this moment in time, it /can't/ be a romance. Nadia is incapable of returning such emotions. Assuming Sans even feels that in the first place. I wonder if the pacing is too fast? It's a little hard to tell right now, but I guess we'll find out together, won't we?
> 
> If you have any questions, concerns, or requests (looking at you Shyann, with great amounts of squinting) please do say so! Though, I can't promise to deliver!


	6. A Stroke of Generosity

            Apparently, dumb ass humans seem to believe I’m blind or something. Like hell I wouldn’t notice the very obvious double take of a few nosy shits. Almost as though they believe I’m supposed to be dead or something. Hah! Like that’s ever going to happen. Especially not from some wanna be piece of shit with a hand gun. Although, I have to admit, the look on their faces was… priceless.

            It was also a little concerning that they actually went by my alley if they expected me to be dead. Morbid curiosity much? I guess there are things I’ll never really understand… not that I’d want to. Dumbasses.

\--What?—

            “N-No! I-I swear, I shot her point blank!”

            “Point blank? You know what, Blake? I think you fucking _lied_ to me! You couldn’t handle one simple job, and you lied! This fucking Nadia must have balls of steel to stay after you apparently shot her _point blank_!” a long frusterated tone sifted through the phone line, “Look, you’re a good kid. You’re behind us on the fact that _something_ ain’t right about those monsters! They’re hiding something behind that—that—that _façade_! And we’re going to find out what! You get one— _just one­_ —last chance, Blake! Don’t. Fuck. Up.” Dial tone rang heavy across the line.

\--What?!—

            “Nadia! You’re here!” I looked up from an underwater scene and frowned.

            “Was I supposed to be somewhere else?” Frisk danced over my equipment and crouched down to hug my neck.

            “N-No! Some stupid kids at school were talking about you getting shot today at recess! I-I thought that-!” I snorted and leaned against them comfortingly.

            “It’ll take more than some punk with bad aim to deal me in, kid.” _Yeah, like not trying shoot lead down my throat for one… fucking rookie_. Frisk shook their head and giggled, sitting down next to me to wait for Papyrus or Sans. Rolling my eyes, I handed them a paint mask. Whatever… And what kind of dumbass leaks a murder to school kids, anyway?

            “How much will this one be?” I huffed.

            “I don’t know… thirty five?”

            “Is there some sort of system for this or do you just say whatever number you want?” I leaned back and considered it for several moments. Then I just shrugged. Frisk laughed in appreciation and the rest of the time was filled with gusts of chemicals from spray cans and the occasional comment about their day. It was… nice.

            “Hey, kiddo. Ready to head out?” Frisk looked up at Sans and quickly latched onto my hand.

            “Sans, Nadia is coming with us, right?” Frisk asked pleadingly. My face naturally slid into a resting bitch face, though neither one of them could quite tell with the paint mask still on. Sans looked quite amused.

            “I don’t know, is she?” Sans asked drolly. I leveled a glare at him, “Yep. That’s the look of someone who’s _definitely_ coming with us.” I see my glares are totally ineffective with this prick. Frisk, however, decided to polish their extortion skills and hauled me up.

            “Come on, Nadia! Grab your stuff! Maybe you can show mom your skills!” I heaved a very heavy sigh and started packing my things.

            “Between you jokers and the weak sauce intimidation newb, I’m going to lose my freaking mind, I swear.” Sans looked slyly to the side.

            “Intimidation? I heard down the grape vine it was murder. Point blank.” I snorted. Yeah. If point blank meant shooting the jugular.

            “Please, with aim that bad, the only intimidation he’s going to be doing is _accidental_ intimidation.” I rolled my eyes and finished putting away my things in a bag with the tarp. I stood up reluctantly and let Frisk steer me to Sans, who looked particularly smug. It was almost as though he was silently saying ‘I _would_ leave you alone, but how can I say no to the kid’? Boney bastard.

\--And what does the boney bastard think of this?—

            When Sans heard, _that very night_ , that someone apparently took a hit out on Nadia he… he didn’t know what to think… what to feel even! It’s not like they were very… close, but he knew things about her and empathized with the human. It was difficult to not rush back and check on her, mostly because he knew she wouldn’t even be in the alley. So, it was quite the relief to find her in the same alley the next day with Frisk. Judging by the… decidedly clingy behavior, Frisk had heard the same thing he did.

            He did quite enjoy this rather snappy attitude. Better than upset. Better than afraid—the thought of which twisted at his magic painfully. Yeah… after learning what he did about Nadia, it was difficult to not _feel_ for her, despite their mere acquaintance. He just hoped that Tori hadn’t heard about the alleged hit too. Tori got _scary_ when she was upset.

\--By the by, good of you to notice how suspicious it was Cloy552.—

            Turns out that Toriel had heard about my apparent murder too, and was… well, she _was_ happy I was alive, but there was also an edge of… anger. Burning anger… distantly, I could feel the warmth of it. The warmth of that protective anger. Not being mad _at me_ , but _for me_ … it was nice. It had… been a while since I had felt that particular emotion.

            “Oh! Nadia! Y-You are unharmed! Come on, come in! And you as well, Sans. My child.” Toriel said, all aflutter as she waved us in.

            “Hey, Tori. You heard the _wine_ too? Heh… must have been a prank.” Toriel grimaced.

            “Indeed. It was a prank made in poor taste, in my opinion.” Sans looked sideways at my suspicious glare.

            “Yeah… I’ll look into it for ya, Tori. In between my breaks.” Toriel huffed good-naturedly, her anger dissipating.

            “If you do that, when will you work?”

            “INDEE—Indeed brother, you take so many as it is!” Papyrus exclaimed, shouting at first but then mediating his voice. I guess he was working on using a normal volume? Good for him… I guess. Sans raised his hands as though in peace.

            “There’s no support for a good resting schedule around me, I swear!” I snorted a little and watched as Frisk skipped back into the room.

            “Mom! Nadia brought her equipment, can she show you how she paints? Please?” Frisk begged. Toriel looked at the beat up duffel and roll of tarp and smiled fondly.

            “I suppose, is there somewhere in particular you need to set that up, Nadia?” I thought for a moment. It wouldn’t be wise to use spray cans indoors.

            “You have a back porch? I don’t want to gas you guys out of the house. This stuff gets pretty powerful when I get going.” Toriel nodded and lead the way through a little hallway past the kitchen that I never noticed. Well, I did. I just thought it was a pantry or something. The back yard was sort of small, but of a decent size for a single child. The back porch was pretty nice too. I rolled out the tarp just off the porch, setting the old towels down so my knees had somewhere soft to rest, and got out a pretty nice canvas. 20 by 24 inches. I sat back for a moment and thought. What to make? I leaned my head back and looked at the sky… yeah. That’ll work.

            I hardly used them, but I did have circular lids lying around for the occasional galaxy or planet. I also set out stiff poster board pieces. Then, all I had to do was put on my paint mask and choose my colors. I chose purple and blue for the main color of the city, allowing the distant planet to be golden colored. Like most spray paint artworks, nothing made sense until pretty damn much the end of it. But by the end, when I was done, it all looked beautiful.

            It was a futuristic city with sweeping skyscrapers that looked like they were made of glass against the black backdrop of space and the golden planet that created striking highlights of gold along the structures. All in all, I did pretty good.

            “Oh my… that was amazing, Nadia! How long have you been doing this?” I thought for a moment before replying.

            “About twelve. I was pretty horrible at first, but I eventually got the hang of it.” Toriel nodded.

            “How much will this one be?” Frisk asked eagerly. I looked at it in consideration.

            “Free… for the pot roast dinner the other night. After it dries, you can have it, Toriel.” Toriel looked surprised and rather speechless.

            “M-My… Nadia, that is rather generous of you!” I snorted.

            “No, that _roast_ was generous. This is nothing.” I said dismissively. I wasn’t changing my mind. It was already decided. If she tried to give it back, I’d buy a frame, break into her house, and then hang it on the wall with a post it note with a smiley face on it. No take backs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long! But hey, I went to the aquarium today! It was pretty neat. And I saw the little wheel turning for you, Cloy552. To be honest, I didn't realize that out of everything I've written with Nadia so far /that/ would be the most suspicious. I try to never have my main characters straight up lie, so if they skirt around something, you can bet something's up. But hey, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. Did you notice the odd clue I left in this one? I was a little heavy handed with it, but it was fun to write an outright sassy character again. I didn't realize how much I missed it.


	7. Unmasking Regret

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https ://www. youtube.com/watch?v=QjPBQdq9zfU recommended for when they're shoved into the room. Love this song, BTW, even if this particular video alters Halsey's voice slightly. It's pretty good.

            I’m not 100 percent… but I think I’m under house arrest. Everyone’s been acting… odd. When they weren’t in school, Frisk would insist on hanging out with me all the time with Papyrus or Sans, if he was available, keeping watch. Toriel, for all her cool demeanor, also seemed quite insistent that I remain with them. I haven’t even been able to hang around my alley recently. I’m starting to get… _antsy_. Being inside a house after so long… being treated like… like I was… well. _Family_. It had been so long… I wasn’t sure how to handle it anymore. By the time a week had gone by, I was ready to chew on the furniture. Something. _Anything_.

            Thankfully, Toriel could see the raging cabin fever and sent Papyrus and I out to meet up with Sans to get groceries while Frisk was in school. Armed with a list and waking around in Sans’ spare clothes yet again, we made our way through the town. I wasn’t _totally_ free, but it was good to stretch my legs in familiar territory.

            “…Hey. Papyrus?” He looked at me quizzically.

            “Yes, Nadia?”

            “Why have you guys been… so… weird?” When Papyrus looked like he was about to deflect I pressed forward, my feet slapping against the concrete with a little more force than necessary, “You guys never let me leave the house alone, if at all. One of you bone heads are always watching. Frisk acts like I’m about to just disappear in thin air if they look away… what’s going on here?” beads of nervous sweat trickled down Papyrus’ skull. I’m still not sure how that happens, but the answer would probably be _magic_.

            “Well… the Magician’s gang has been looking for you… quite persistently, actually. Frisk feels… responsible, since it is likely due to you sheltering them several times from unwanted attention. Our intel indicates that they’re the ones who put that hit on you. As a message. No one has succeeded in so much as touching Frisk, not with the magnificent Papyrus around! But others… have not been so lucky. Sans says you do not wish to become involved, and I, the great Papyrus, respects that… but as far as the Magicians are concerned… you already are.” I let out an angry huff as we turned the corner and Sans was leaning against the wall.

            “Well… so much for quietly existing in peace…” I muttered bitterly against the warm burst on the other side of that pesky glass wall. It was… touching how far they were willing to go to protect me. Not that I _deserved_ it… or really needed it, for that matter. Sans’ smile brightened a little as he saw us, his eyes flashing dangerously at something behind us.

            “Papyrus… how long have they been following you?” I restrained myself from looking at the offending individuals. _I_ might not have to worry about death… but they did.

            “About five blocks…” Papyrus said uneasily, his gaze shifting over to me. He probably didn’t have many options to deal with them while I was with him. But he couldn’t just abandon me or suddenly change his demeanor either. That would tip them off… force them to act sooner.

            “Shit.” Sans muttered as four humans blocked the way behind him, armed with small pistols. An unmarked van pulled up beside us and opened. Great. The assholes are smarter this time around. A heave click resounded just behind my head as a piece of cold metal pressed to my skull. Oh… a gun.

            “I suggest you three get in the van… or it’ll just be two.” _Yeah… unlikely_. _Even if your aim is better_. The voice was muffled behind something. Cloth perhaps? The two skeletons unhappily shuffled into the van, unwilling, or perhaps unable, to fight back. A rough shove pushed me into the van as well. I didn’t see the bag shoved over my head, nor the person that was hiding behind the door responsible for said bag that then tied my hands together. I assume Papyrus and Sans received the same treatment. They _really_ weren’t fucking around this time. I shuffled until I hit a familiar bony body. Papyrus. He stiffened briefly before relaxing, probably recognizing that it was me and not some weird, touchy asshole.

            I didn’t bother trying to figure out where we were going, the twists and sudden turns disorienting enough without me focusing on them. After about half an hour of very tense silence we stopped. The doors slid open and I was dragged out roughly, the ground beneath my feet smooth concrete and I could hear… echoes. A parking lot?

            “Try anything, and I do mean anything, and I _will_ kill you. Got it?” A rough male voice asked. Someone pissed in his Cheerios this morning. I could _tell_.

            “Yep.” I heard Sans reply somewhere behind me as we were dragged quite a distance. A few more dizzying turns and heavy doors and the bags were ripped off and we were shoved into a decent sized, but totally empty room. I was a little confused at first. Were we being held here until later? If so, why did they need the clear glass observation window on the left side of the door? To watch us wait for hours? Then I saw it. All along the floor was a rather impressive and complex array for magic. A very real chill swept down my spine. A speaker crackled to life from the upper left corner, drawing my eyes to the camera placed next to it with a blinking red light.

            “Good evening, monsters. Nadia. Today marks a very important day in history. We may have failed to cast a barrier to contain the monster threat, but today… today we will _unmask_ it. After today, everyone will see what monsters _really look like_. Unfortunately, it will likely cost you your life, Nadia. But what can you expect from coexisting with the unnatural? Begin.” Sans and Papyrus looked rather conflicted and quite concerned as the complex array began to glow a deep red. I spun in a circle, taking in the various symbols, the dread growing in my stomach. How?! How did they find _that_ book?!

            “Hey, Nadia, it’ll be alright! Monsters don’t _have_ some darker form!” Papyrus declared reassuringly, working his hands to free his bonds, Sans having already cut through the rope. I know that _monsters_ don’t… but something else does.

\--I wonder if I was properly foreshadowing this?—

            Sans was only marginally worried. Human magic always made him itchy, but the supposed goal if this circle seemed to be unleashing the true form of the occupants. Which is completely pointless with monsters, due to their physical form being the literal form of their Soul. Nadia seemed quite worried though, and he couldn’t blame her. The description _was_ quite vague on what it did. His brother reassured her, but the tension in the room only rose higher as the glow brightened until he had to close his eyes.

            Suddenly, it died down and Sans opened his eyes and let out a sigh of relief.

            “Hehe… I have to admit, I knew there wasn’t anything to it, but even _I_ was feeling some tension there, kid.” Sans said easily, looking at the stunned faces of the humans behind the observation glass.

            “B-But!? The circle! The spells! We did everything right, what could we have gotten wrong?!” He heard more than he saw the rough turning of paper.

            “Well, human magic can be quite vague… maybe you misunderstood it?” Papyrus pitched in helpfully. Sans chuckled a little. His brother was so _cool_. But then he registered the harsh breathing behind him and he looked back. Nadia was bent over, dripping with sweat as her hands clutched at her knees as she shook.

            “N-Nadia?” She let out a keening wail, her hands knocking her beanie off and pulling at the roots of her loose braid. It looks like she didn’t mess with it after Frisk braided it over a week ago.

            “IT DIDN’T MEAN MONSTERS, YOU IGNORANT PRICKS! F-FuCK!” A ring of black fire encased her. That’s when the unholy screaming began, like the cries of the damned begging for salvation. Nadia seemed to physically buckle under some great force and… dissolved into some dark form. Nadia… she wasn’t human. Was she ever?

            Thin, spindly limbs not bound by the structural logic of mortal creatures lashed out, sharp crescent moon claws gleamed in the light as the distant sound of crying filled the room. Sans couldn’t make any sense of what he was seeing. Thin and sleek form twisted to-and-fro as though she lacked any real bone structure. The body painfully thin and the head angular, like an animal, with bright white lights for eyes. Streams of dark red liquid dribbled and dripped down and followed the line of a dark and open maw of white teeth. Over the right eye was a fractured piece of a human skull, only the bearing the right eye socket, part of the cheekbone, and half of the nasal cavity. The rest was completely gone.

            Without meaning to, he moved forward, white, seemingly sightless, eyes locking onto him. The creature, which no longer seemed to be Nadia, shuddered and expanded like a balloon, oozing a black tar like substance that burned away the circle array beneath them. Instantly, he knew he made a mistake, the creature leaping at him and knocking him over. The moment the thick black liquid began to cover him, he was lost. Lost in so much… so much… _Regret_. _He failed them! He couldn’t protect them! He was so… useless!_

            He didn’t notice the sharp claws gently scrapping over his face, his body shuddering out of instinct. He didn’t react to the growing level of thick tar, threatening to smother him to death. _He deserved to **wallow in his mistakes… in his Regret**_.

\--Finally, the moment that _made_ this story!—

            As the light grew brighter my muscles cramped and twisted inside my skin. I tried to hold it back, but the pain only grew as my hands braced against my knees.

            “…maybe you misunderstood it?” _breath_. They don’t know. _Inhale_. _Exhale_. That book is ancient, there’s no way they got _every detail_ right.

            “N-Nadia?” But the sharp burn wrapping around my spine said otherwise.

            “IT DIDN’T MEAN MONSTERS, YOU IGNORANT PRICKS! F-FuCK!” Black fire swept over me, eating away at my human body and forcing me into my true form. The form of a Shade. My world wavered and shattered as I was keenly aware of the two occupants in the room with me… I could _see them_. Nothing was hidden from my sight as the closest one tried to approach me, challenging me. But he won’t win. _Not with that temperament he won’t_.

            “H-Hey, N-Nadia? W-What ar—“ I lunged for him, my form expanding as I knocked him over and began to drown him in my essence. The essence of Regret. I crooned gently, my sharp claws clattering against his skull as the black tar began to cover him completely. This one… _oh this one suffers in silence_. _He wallows and drowns in his mistakes. Even if he could stand and breathe once again, he wouldn’t. He’s the type to_ willingly _allow himself to drift away in Regret… that… that is the kind of person he is_.

            “Nadia! WE DO NOT HUG LIKE THAT! BAD… HUMAN?” Bony hands grabbed the shoulders of my prey and swept him up in an embrace, the small white lights returning in empty eye sockets. I let out a warbling cry and rose up to look this new prey in the eyes… and froze… How… _unusual_. My form twisted and shrunk until I was only just bigger than the new skeleton’s hand. I was a small, lanky creature with dull claws and a feathery tail. My snout short, no longer that of a predator, but of a scavenger. Like a mouse or a rat. I skittered up the pant leg and clicked my claws anxiously over the skeleton’s skull to no avail. _This one does not linger on Regret. He takes note, acknowledges his mistakes, but he does not allow it to control him. There is a lesson to be learned in every mistake, after all. That’s how he becomes so…_ great… The Great Papyrus. Oh… _oh_.

            Everything was clear all of a sudden. I knew who I was and, more importantly, who _they_ were. Sans and Papyrus… and I almost… Oh. Regret, heavy and thick, settled over my shoulders like an old jacket. The one emotion I knew well and in full. My head shot over to the observation glass, the humans beginning to panic at my sudden draw of attention. They had the book… I can’t let them keep it. _Not for anything_. I shot forward, launching off Papyrus’ skull only to be caught in the hold of pale blue magic, which cradled the center of my being effortlessly. I couldn’t move at all but I gave a warning hiss, my voice shuddering and giving the impression of a small cry, like most noises I can make in this form.

            “H-Hey now… we need to get out of here, Nadia… if that’s even your name.” Sans panted, his face twisted in anger. I looked up at the camera and Sans relented, “You’re right… _business_ first.” Papyrus nodded resolutely, setting Sans down and carefully cupping me in his hands.

            “INDEED! WE—We need to first, get rid of all evidence! Talking can come later!” Papyrus agreed, taking it in stride, like everything else he’s ever presented with. With any luck, I’ll get to shred that _fucking_ book, once and for all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! H-How's it going? It's not like I've completely just sat around, ignoring my laptop for a few days... ha... haha... Anyway, this scene, more or less, created this story. Fun fact. Most of my stories started out with a single idea. The transformation scene presented here, was actually the seed for this story. Naturally, I had to put it with Mafiatale, and I then built Nadia's character around the premise of what would have to occur for this to happen. And... well, here it is! Expect an explanation in the next chapter. Sans won't be... particularly happy, but Nadia does have a good reason for not just airing out her origins. It's also the root for my reasoning as to why this isn't going to be a romance... /yet/ at the very least. Her very nature suppresses pretty much every emotion, including love. She can feel it, but not... really. It's very... disassociated from herself. Hence the glass wall thing that I've been going on about for at least a few chapters. And she's a very honest person. Assuming that Sans does have that sort of feeling for her, she would actively seek to prevent a relationship due to her inability to properly reciprocate. It's also why she hasn't died yet, despite being shot (at least in the throat area), and why death threats don't affect her. Why would they, when she's basically immortal?
> 
> Anyway, if you have any questions or concerns, please do tell. I'll do my best to address them, one way or another. I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!


	8. Origin Story

            It was quite… disappointing to realize the place was mostly deserted already and that several pricks managed to get away before a flurry of bones broke down the door. On the plus side, however, the camera only recorded to a computer, it didn’t stream anything live. The only leaks we’d have to worry about were the people that managed to run beforehand. Papyrus kept me firmly within his grip, refusing to let me hunt down that fucking book while Sans did most of the demolition. My little claws clicked against his boney phalanges unhappily.

            “We are almost finished, Nadia! Then, we will return home and sort all this out!” Papyrus reassured. I huffed, not happy at the lack of destructive opportunity. Fifteen minutes later and Sans ported us back to Toriel’s place. Toriel looked ruffled and quite worried until she saw us. Though the look of pure confusion on her face was quite satisfying.

            “Sans! Papyrus! You’re alright! W-Where’s Nadia?” Her eyes fixed on me and I had to restrain my instincts. Toriel and Sans were quite alike in regards to their Regret. But where Sans would willingly sink, Toriel would try and swim… so, better, but not by much. I cooed and clicked against the cradling hold Papyrus had, willing myself to turn back. A soft glow of black mist covered my form as Papyrus set me down on the table, thick black soot scattering around me as I melted into a human shape. My clothes were still there, but unfortunately, no amount of washing will ever remove the black stain on what was once a very nice white button up shirt. I took in a deep breath, coughing at the dust around me.

            “Hgh! S-Sorry ‘bout the mess…” I said, grimacing at the awful taste lingering in my mouth. It tasted like ash and iron. Sans, for all his relaxed posture, glared at me.

            “Alright, now’s the time where you _explain_ what happened back there.” I nodded and scooted off the table to wash my hands and face, careful to not leave behind a huge mess. The cool water felt great across my skin and rinsing out my mouth thoroughly helped clear my mind. I heaved a great sigh and turned around. Where to begin?

            “O-Kay… well, to start, I’m not a human. I don’t require food or sleep. I can’t die or age beyond what you see now. I… am a Shade.” I didn’t expect understanding and there wasn’t any on their faces, “Hundreds of thousands of years ago Death had a physical form and they reaped Souls in… person, so to speak. But then, Earth’s population grew and Death could no longer efficiently reap Souls. So, Death cast aside their cloak, ripping it asunder and again, casting the four pieces onto the wind. Each piece, covered in the emotions and blood of dead humans, gained a… personality so to speak. They each embodied a part of the cycle of dying. Anger. Denial. Desperation. Regret. I am the latter.” I let that sink in as silence reigned in the kitchen. Sans was the first to speak up.

            “You said you lost your little brother… was that a lie?” he asked bitterly. I shook my head.

            “No… Shades don’t have to be Shades forever… there is a way a Shade can cast away their supernatural identity and become human. Completely human. By moving past what we represent… what we are… we become human. The black shadows that cloak our Soul drifts away to form a new Shade. It isn’t easy… about twenty years ago, the previous Regret Shade did just that, and _I_ was born into the world as a baby on a porch. I was adopted into the family, eventually gaining my own identity, like many babies do after a time. I became Nadia. They really were my family… just not by blood.”

            “The hit… you really were shot, weren’t you?” Toriel asked. I nodded and tapped just beneath the larynx and slightly to the left.

            “It’s quite painful, but the healing is more or less instantaneous.”

            “Why would you bother becoming a human? Sounds like you have it pretty good. No need for food or sleep. You don’t age… so why change that?” Sans asked. I looked at him for a long moment.

            “Well, you remember that magic circle back there? It comes from a book, written in about the twelfth century by a nosy shit of a philosopher. It forced a Shade into their true form and briefly into their more… predatory instincts. Further along in that same book is a circle for enslaving a Shade… if someone was to gather all four Shades and force them together, they could summon Death itself… and then order anything of it. I think you can see now, why that might be a problem? Particularly in the Magician gang’s hands?” Sans sneered at me.

            “And why should you care?! Even with that, why do you even _care_?”

            “Sans!” Papyrus exclaimed, “That is very rude!” I shook my head.

            “No, he’s right to ask. As a Shade, I can’t… _feel_ emotions fully. They’re there… but removed from my grasp, just out of reach. So, technically, I really _don’t_ care… but this has nothing to do with emotions. This is a primal fear that every Shade feels… the fear of being completely erased from existence. Plenty of motivation to become human, even with all the perks of being a Shade… but like I said, it’s quite… difficult.” Sans looked… moderately pacified, but still not happy.

            “Is there anything you lied about?” I gave him a cold look.

            “I have _never_ lied… omitted, perhaps, but never lied. Being a Shade isn’t something I want well known. Eternal servitude or complete erasure isn’t exactly on my bucket list.” I said off-handedly. Sans jerked and headed to the door.

            “I’m going for a walk.” He said tersely as he almost slammed the door closed. Papyrus and Toriel were silent for a long moment.

            “Nadia… if you were… _born_ as a Shade… how do you know all that? About being a Shade?” I tilted my head and thought for a moment.

            “Well, I’m not human, so the rules for mental development aren’t the same. It’s quite literally an instinct to know the basics of what I am… I know Sans is… _unhappy_ with this new information, but what about you two? Would you rather I… just… go away?” I asked, a small sting echoing through my body. Instantly, Toriel and Papyrus shook their heads.

            “No, my child! You cannot help what you are! Though I must admit some confusion… why were you so small? Are all Shades like that?” I thought back to the rather cute form and shook my head with a laugh.

            “No! Of course not! A Shade’s true form changes depending on who they’re facing. Since I’m Regret, it varies on how the other person _handles_ regret. Papyrus is very… energetic. He doesn’t hold onto his mistakes, though he does learn from them. I become small, claws and teeth quite dull, and I gain a rather fluffy tail. All unable to harm, but capable of gently drawing his attention. As a Shade, I am no threat to him because of this… Sans on the other hand…” I shook my head, “Well, it’s somewhat personal, but let’s just say he doesn’t handle it as well…” Papyrus nodded his head.

            “Yes! I had to save him from… from drowning.” Papyrus said in a troubled tone. I nodded my head, a little concerned for him… I hope Sans was alright.

\--How’s the Pun-ster doing?—

            Sans felt feral and itchy, soot-like crud covering his clothes and most of his bones. He’s never faced a situation where he was so helpless before! He didn’t even try and move, he just let himself drown! If Papyrus wasn’t there… he probably would have died. His shoes clacked angrily against the sidewalk as he made his way to the only place he knew would lighten him up. Grillbys.

            At this time of day, it was mostly empty, Grillby himself standing behind the counter with a perplexed look on his face. It was only years of exposure that allowed Sans to tell when the flame elemental was feeling a particular emotion. Likely because of how shitty he looked. He sat down at the bar and eagerly accepted a bottle of ketchup. Grillby watched him for a long moment before speaking.

            “…Are you alright, Sans?” Sans nodded out of habit before stopping and shaking his head.

            “Yeah… no… not really… I’m a bit of a _mess_ , as you can tell. Can’t tell up from down and--! I’m good a judging people, aren’t I?” Grillby nodded, “Never been wrong before, I know it! But how could I miss this? I mean, she’s not even human! How… how did I miss that?!” Grillby tilted his head thoughtfully.

            “…Was that the only thing you got wrong? Species? Sans… I didn’t take you for a species-ist.” Sans shook his head.

            “No! It’s… it’s not that she’s a different species, I mean, technically, she’s _kind of_ a human. So… maybe I wasn’t really wrong about that… but she’s been hanging around the kid and Tori and I… I completely missed it! She could have been dangerous, Grillz! And I didn’t even see it!” Grillby reached over and patted his shoulder gently.

            “…Tell me about her, Sans. Who is it?” Sans leaned back in his seat and thought for a long moment.

            “Well, Grillz… her name’s Nadia, for one… she lost her little brother in the Monster Ally Massacre a few years back. Kid wasn’t supposed to be there… wrong place, wrong time kind of deal… she’s really withdrawn. Like, she’ll let the kid braid her hair but you can almost see the emotional distance she keeps from… well, from everyone! She acts like she doesn’t care about anything, not even her life, but she isn’t a bitch! She’s nice! How does that make sense? She has every reason to be a cold-heartless bitch, but… she isn’t. She’ll watch TV with the kid. Taste test Papyrus’ cooking… make puns just to laugh at his reaction to them! And she paints beautifully, Grillz! Real works of art! But she says she can’t feel emotions, how does that even work?” Sans ranted and raved for what seemed like hours, Grillby just egging him on with that odd little smile on his fiery features. Sans doesn’t like to be wrong about anything. He keeps his family as safe as possible from any and everything he can. But it wasn’t the potential danger that upset him… Gillby figured he would realize what was _really_ bugging him sooner or later. In the meantime, he’ll just keep an eye out for his close friend. Even if he refuses to stop drinking ketchup from the bottle. He had a promise to his old man to keep, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, there ya have it! What a Shade is in this story and how Nadia fits into it all! We also get a ranty skeleton, which is great, because it /could/ be for future romance, but it might also be because Sans is very protective of his family... the world may never know ;)
> 
> If you have any questions, concerns, or even requests, let 'em rip! I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, even if there was a sad lack of ass kicking, but maybe later we can cash in on that two for one deal on a can of ass-whooping?


	9. You're Blue Now! It's Called Blushing!

            I honestly don’t know what I was expecting.

            “That’s so _cool_!” Frisk cried out, their eyes practically sparkling with excitement. I mean, how _else_ would Frisk handle the news that I was a fourth of Death’s physical form? With _fear_? Pft. Of course not. _That_ would be ridiculous. At least Toriel looked pleased with how accepting her child was. Frisk climbed into my lap and bounced happily. I was glad that I decided to take a shower and change, or Frisk’s nice clothes would have been ruined for sure.

            “Yep. Cool. Exactly the word I’d use… but uhm… remember that this is supposed to be a secret, alright? Even if it is awesome.” Frisk nodded eagerly and began chatting about their day.

            “So, math was a pain, as usual, and Tony tried to tease me again. It didn’t work, and he blushed like mad when I flirted with him.”

            “Frisk! I’m not sure flirting is the appropriate response to teasing. Or bullying, for that matter!” I said, trying not to laugh. Frisk just giggled happily and watched the program about space. Toriel watched from the kitchen happily. Papyrus was running an errand with Sans. Probably getting groceries since the last attempt wasn’t as successful as we’d wish it could have been. I basked in the gentle warmth this peace brought me. I never told my family about what I really was, there was never a good moment, but having a group of people know and accept me? It felt… nice.

\--How did the Magician’s gang take failure anyway?—

            The darkened room was filled with silence for several long moments before glass shattered against the wall.

            “HOW COULD YOU FAIL?! YOU _IDIOTS_!” A voice screeched unhappily as a human shuddered against the door. It was never pleasant to bring bad news to their boss.

            “W-We d-d-d-don’t know what went wrong! The spell worked, but the monsters weren’t affected! T-The human was instead! Leroy ran with the book and brought it back to us!”

            “AND FOR WHAT?! WHAT USE DO I HAVE FOR A SPELL THAT CHANGES HUMANS? NEWS FLASH, I’M ALREADY CURSED!” several more things broke and clattered against the floor, “You can’t do anything right! No spell to change me back, no spell to show the monsters for what they really are, I mean, what _use_ do I even have for you worthless idiots?! GET OUT!” The human scrambled out of the room desperately, leaving the fuming boss alone… at least, mostly alone.

            “…You need to reign in that temper, Prince. Throwing a temper tantrum will get you nowhere.” Prince snarled at the shadowed man before audibly sulking, “I know, you hate your cursed form, but anger isn’t going to help you change back into a human. There is… something to be salvaged from this situation. The beast the human turned into… I need to research some things… yes, this could be _exactly_ what we need, Prince. Have patience.” Prince snarled unhappily.

            “What _else_ is there for me to do but wait? Rot? Eat sunlight? Stupid idiots…”

\--What?—

            Sans begrudgingly left Grillbys feeling quite a bit lighter than before to help Papyrus get groceries. Since… well, the last attempt didn’t go so well. It was quite… therapeutic to gently steer his brother away from the pasta section. He only let Papyrus get away with buying nothing but pasta stuff once… Tori wasn’t happy with the less than healthy fare pasta tends to make. But it was nice… hanging out with his bro in such a relaxed setting after the close shave with danger they had earlier that same day. They were in the cereal aisle when Papyrus nervously brought up a slightly touchy subject.

            “Sans… Why are you so upset with Nadia?” Sans nearly dropped the Cheerios.

            “W-What?! Upset, what? No! I’m not… not upset with her… I mean, I kind of am, I guess…” Sans tried to string together some appropriate response. What was he really mad about anyway? That Nadia didn’t immediately tell him that she wasn’t human? That she was, in fact, an incarnation of Death?

            “You seemed quite upset when you left, Sans.” Papyrus pointed out. Sans took a deep breath and sighed.

            “… I guess I was just on edge, bro. I mean, we were practically in _their_ clutches! I almost died!” Sans said, trying to save… something. He wasn’t really sure anymore.

            “She explained that, actually. Just after you left. Her… form changes depending on the person. How they handle Regret… Sans… do you… do you still blame yourself? About… that day?” Papyrus said uncertainly, a cold chill running down Sans’ spine, “You really shouldn’t Sans! You were barely a baby bones! You couldn’t have known that—“

            “Bro… please… just drop it…” Papyrus’ jaw clicked shut and his shoulders drooped.

            “I am sorry, brother… I know that was a difficult time… for everyone. But still! It’s rather unusual for you to be so… angry. Was it because… you felt like she purposefully lied to you? You never have liked the people you love lying to you.” Papyrus said thoughtfully. Sans froze. What?

            “W-What? P-Paps, uh… no. No… It’s not that. Definitely not that! I was just on edge! Bad memories and all that, don’t worry about it! Now, let’s go get the milk, alright? Alright. Good! I’ll… I’ll go get the milk!” Sans sputtered, quickly dashing off before his brother could go off on some strange tangent. _His brother always was a little_ too _perceptive for his naive exterior._ Not that there was anything to see! No… Definitely nothing to see here!

\--I miss writing fluff… and sass. Maybe I’ll start another fic soon?—

            I sat quietly and let Frisk put as many braids in my hair as they wanted. We haven’t told them about our run in with the Magician gang yet… I wasn’t sure if it was something Toriel wanted Frisk to know about. I didn’t want to test Toriel to see what her anger felt like, either. So, for now, I kept quiet and enjoyed the rather soothing motions of Frisk braiding my hair again.

            “I like braiding your hair, Nadia. Mom won’t let me braid her fur and Sans and Papyrus don’t have any hair at all… the kids at school like to keep their distance.” I blew air out of my nose and sighed.

            “They’re just intimidated by your mad Casanova skills, Frisk. Not everyone can handle a genuine compliment.” Frisk giggled happily as the door opened up.

            “Anyone order groceries?” Sans asked dully with Papyrus in tow. Both of the skeletons carried an obscene amount of bags with them. How do they even carry so many bags? It looks like their bones will snap in half from the weight alone!

            “Yeah, and a tall glass of water… can I tip you with kisses?” Frisk shot back saucily, causing me to choke on air. Sans looked nonplussed and Papyrus just looked cheerful as always.

            “F-Frisk, you outrageous short stack!” I declared laughingly. Frisk’s features grew mischievous.

            “Well, if my kisses aren’t wanted, maybe yours are, Nadia?” Frisk sat up and dragged me to the skeleton brothers, “Give a working man a hand? Or rather, a pair of lips?” I snorted a little.

            “They _are_ lacking in lips… but I think I’ll pass.” I said, taking a handful of bags from the two, helping them carry the groceries into the kitchen. Frisk cried out in disappointment.

            “Come on, please? Pretty please with sugar on top? And a cherry?” My face started to turn red from the effort I made to not laugh.

            “No! You devious little cupid! Off with you, go romance a cactus or something!” Frisk dramatically snapped their fingers.

            “Aw man! A cactus? Only the most tsundere of plants…” Frisk muttered playfully before waltzing back into the living room. I shook my head and set the bags down so Toriel could properly take care of the food stuffs. I looked over at the skeleton brothers and laughed.

            “Short stack too much for you, Sans?” I joked a little, taking in how… oddly cute his face looked in that soft shade of baby blue. Sans shook his head.

            “Nah, I just have a sweet tooth.” He replied smoothly. I rolled my eyes and walked back into the living room, pausing briefly to kiss Sans and Papyrus on the cheek. Judging by the shout of laughter in the living room, Frisk saw that. Either that, or black holes are incredibly comedic cosmic happenings.

            “Well, then, I hope that will help, Sans~!” Papyrus blushed a pretty shade of light orange and grinned.

            “Nyeh-heh! No one can resist the Great Papyrus!” I laughed and went to join Frisk on the couch, “Sans, you’re _blue_!... Is that her attack?” Papyrus jested heartily, Toriel giving a startled laugh.

            “O-Oh my!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, there's a nice bit of fluff there, huh? So, I've been sitting on this little plot bunny for a while now (don't worry, it's still alive) about cute fluff with just a little bit of angst! I really want to write it, I really, really do! Would you guys want to read about an OC finding baby bones Sans and Papyrus? And trying to raise them in a world of tough segregation? With the OC being a lot like Tumble from my other fanfic? Cause that's what I want to write! Oh, and I feast upon your comments, so if you have any questions, concerns, or requests, feel free to comment! I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!
> 
> Oh, and don't worry, I'm not dropping anything... well, maybe that Rise of the Guardians fanfic.... it's been a /very/ long time since I wrote for that one. I have hopes and dreams to finish my other stories! I am filled with.... PROCRASTINATION! I-I mean DETERMINATION!


	10. This Week on How to Train Your Shade!

            Harsh pants filled the night air of Luxemburg as a young man ran for his life. He was a normal college graduate in engineering, fresh from his homeland of Great Britain, and he only wanted to travel the world. But then he ran into a local branch of the Magicians gang. He had nothing against monsters, really, he didn’t! He just wanted to live a normal life, which the Magician gang made very… difficult if you willingly consorted with monsters.

            He didn’t know why they were after him, or why the very angry European man was leading the chase, an angry black tattoo wrapping around his throat. The way it pulsated made it seem infected somehow.

            “Get back here, you cannot run for much longer!” the man seemed possessed.

            “L-L-Leave me alone, I didn’t do anything wrong!” he turned his head to shout back for only a split second. That was all they needed to cut him off. His last thoughts were wrapped around his innocence. He was just a normal British engineer. He didn’t do anything wrong.

\--Soon, they will be gathered together at last.—

            My eyes shot open, my breathing harsh and shallow. Every last cell of my being shivered in anxiety. I looked at the clock. Two A.M. I sucked in a deep breath, knowing somehow that something very bad was coming. For the first time in a very long time, I was scared. I couldn’t stay here. I should have left the minute we got out of that damn room. But they kept such a close eye on me… _But no one was watching right now_.

            Resolutely, I moved off the couch and began quietly gathering my things. I briefly wondered if I should leave a note. My hand gently ran over the many braids in my hair and my chest faintly ached. It was the least I could do. I walked into the kitchen where the grocery list was, magnetically held onto the fridge for easy reach. I opened the pen, my hand shaking, and only three words.

_It’s not safe._

            It wasn’t the best explanation ever, hardly the novel’s worth of words they deserved, but it would suffice. It would have to. I mentally tallied up the amount of cash I had stashed in my shoes. I needed out of the city. Out of the country would be best, but planes leave a trace. Technically speaking, I could just swim across the ocean. It would be exhausting, I’d likely end up with the fishes (literally) once or twice, but no one would be able to trace me that way. Sometimes, there were perks to being immortal. I softly closed the door behind me and began walking, sticking to the darker alleys. About twenty minutes later I was just outside the cemetery. I didn’t mean to go here, but I suppose… it wasn’t just the living I owed a goodbye to.

            The air was almost stifling in the silence as I crouched in front of their graves. Pain and longing tapped against the glass, reminding me of… better times. Laughter echoed in my head and I could almost hear their voices once more.

_Nadia, don’t forget to do your homework!_

_Hey, Nadia, can you show me how you paint the sky again? Pretty please with sugar on top?_

_Sweetheart, please don’t leave your paint cans on the front porch!_

_Nadia… I don’t think he’s coming back, baby. He’s been gone for almost a week._

**_Ding-Dong._ **

_Can you get that, dear?_

            A heavy box… smells like ash and iron. What is this?

_Nadia? N-Nadia! Don’t open tha—_

            It took a while for me to realize that it wasn’t just my mom that was screaming. None of us were the same after that day. Not even after we buried him… it broke us apart. His death. And it was only a few short years later when they were buried here too… I wanted to join them so _badly_ … but I couldn’t… _I’m such a coward_.

            “…Kid… what are you doing out here?” My head shot up from my knees and I looked behind me.

            “Sans?” he looked… pissed. He was still wearing his flannel pajamas, but his feet were bare. It was… odd to see his bone feet.

            “Real fucking cute, leaving such a shitty note! You’re lucky I heard you leaving and not Frisk! I’ve been following you this whole time and…” Sans took a deep and calming breath.

            “It’s not… Not—“

            “Safe, yeah. I read your note, remember? But what the fuck is that supposed to mean, huh?! Safe for who?”

            “Everyone.” Sans visibly shook, his eye sockets closing for one long moment before opening back up as black pits.

            “B U L L S H I T…” His hands shot out and pulled me up by my shirt so I was inches from his face, “You are _such a fucking liar_!” I grimaced and grabbed his hands, trying to pull them away from my shirt but with no luck.

            “I’m not lying, Sans! I can feel it! They’ve already got two of the four Shades! And they already know where I am, Sans! I need to leave, for _everyone’s_ sake!” he snarled, deep and foreboding.

            “You’re only protecting yourself, kid! If you were so worried about us, you’d turn into a human! For good!” His eye lights returned as small sparks with a hint of neon blue, “But that wasn’t what I was calling you a liar for! I mean when you said you couldn’t feel emotions. IF that was true, then what the fuck is this?! If you couldn’t feel, they’d mean nothing to you! No one would! But you let Frisk braid your hair, you eat Tori’s cooking despite supposedly not needing food, and you get this fucking look on your face when you tell a pun around my brother when you _know_ he hates it! BULL. SHIT NADIA. FUCKING BULLSHIT!” he roared into my face, his jaw opening up to reveal wicked sharp canines. Huh. I was actually convinced he _couldn’t_ physically open his mouth… I guess not. But that wasn’t the point here.

            “Shades are the embodiment of an emotion, Sans. An emotion of the dead and dying. Of course I can feel emotions… but not really. They’re… separated from me, Sans. By a thick, glass wall. They knock against the glass and I _feel_ the echo of what I could be experiencing if I wasn’t what I am.” Sans narrowed his eyes at me.

            “Oh really? And what exactly, can you _feel_ , huh? For anyone but yourself? Do you know how torn up Frisk has been about getting you involved with us? How fucking worried Tori’s been about your safety outside the house? Or maybe, just maybe, do you have even a smidge of a thought about how Papyrus and I fret over your safety?” Sans ranted at me, “And don’t think I didn’t notice how you ignored what I said! Why. Haven’t. You. Turned into a human? You said it was difficult before, but _how_ do you know?! Have you even fucking tried?!”

            “YES! I FUCKING HAVE, SANS!” I shouted, my throat feeling tight as the gentle knocks became pounding drums, “I’m fucking Regret, Sans! For so long I blamed myself for their deaths—I still do! I thought that, maybe, I could let go! Finally become human and maybe bridge the growing gap with my grieving parents! It _hurt_! My blood boiled from the inside out and I had to stop, I couldn’t handle the weight of my emotions!” I gasped for air, my eyes burning but I couldn’t figure out why, “Then again, after they—my parents died! I stopped halfway, Sans, and I couldn’t seal away what little emotion I had unlocked! I could only feel pain, Sans. Pain that I was alone, again, and I fucked up any chance I had at making it up to them! But instead of trying to become human so I could be close to someone else, I wanted only one thing that being a human could offer me. Death.” I gave a final shove at Sans, the both of us stumbling to the ground. I ignored the dazed and horrified look Sans had.

            “K--Na…”

            “B-But I _couldn’t_ do it, Sans. Once again, the pain was too much and I just… gave up. I threw everything I _could_ feel into a box and prayed it would fucking _rot_. I’ve decided to fucking _exist_ , because I have no other choice, and maybe… just maybe… I’d try not to fuck up any other families while I’m at it. So, no, Sans… It’s not some pitiful excuse to save myself. There _is_ nothing to save for me… but maybe I could save someone else…” I picked myself off the ground, “So, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to get the fuck out of town before it’s too late… goodbye, Sans… and I’m sorry. I really am.” I started to walk away after that but I couldn’t… a gentle blue light wrapped around my chest. Gently, like he was afraid something would break, he wrapped his arms around me.

            “…Don’t leave us, please. I’ll help you become human… just… don’t leave. Not like this.” Pain shot through my heart and my knees weakened.

            “A-And how are you going to do that, Sans?” I said in disbelief.

            “By giving you a reason to stick it out. It’s worth it… the painful moments, I promise… let’s go home, Nadia.” I hung my head and sighed.

            “…Okay…” that heavy weight in my chest eased as he kept me tucked close against his side, all the way home. We entered the house at four in the morning, Sans dropping my bag on the floor and forcing my shoes off with his own feet. He clutched me closer and fell onto the couch with me in his arms still, dragging the blanket over us and laying down.

            “First lesson: Sleeping. I want you to close your eyes and concentrate on my breathing. Only my breathing… I don’t know if sleeping is something you can _kind of_ do or not, but it’s too early for anything else.” I huffed and closed my eyes, trying to ignore how oddly patronizing it was for him to pat my head like I was a child. I think that night was the closest I’ve ever gotten to actually sleeping before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, opps? I gave pain but labeled it like it was fluff? Um... my bad? So, yeah, I've made the perfect opening for the fluff I wanted to write in this very story! Will they become great friends, or something more? Let's find out! But I have to admit, I actually didn't see the ironic bit coming. Sans (of a different AU) helping someone who's completely given up and living day to day try and find meaning. I mean, Sans, this one, isn't as... broken as canon Sans emotionally speaking. This chapter also has Sans deciding to put aside whatever bothered him about Nadia to try and help instead.
> 
> Oh, just so it's clear, Nadia can't feel the whole range of emotions yet, mostly just pain associated things. Which is the first thing to come rushing in when a Shade tries to become human. Sans is offering to help her find a reason to stick through the pain, besides wanting to die. It occurs to me, rather recently, that Nadia wasn't written as emotionless as she should have been, even with the vague hints at what she should be feeling at any given time, and I apologize for that. But, this small error has given birth to most of the ranting you see here, so I guess it was worth it?
> 
> Anyway, just a reminder that I feast upon the motivation your comments give me, so if you have any questions, concerns, or even requests, please do~! FEED ME *ohm-nom-nom!*


	11. Teaching Each Other

            Naturally, I heard the others wake up and shuffle through their daily routines. It was Papyrus that found us on the couch first. I didn’t have my eyes open to see his face, but judging by the rather suppressed squeal, he was quite happy.

            “ohmyspaghettisauce!” He whispered under his breath before dashing off, probably to get Toriel or Frisk. I was actually pretty comfortable, so I didn’t mind at all when three pairs of feet quietly pattered into the living room. I heard low giggling and the sound of a picture being taken. Briefly, I wondered how it was so comfortable to lay on Sans when he was a skeleton, but I really didn’t care. The answer probably had something to do with magic. I felt Sans shift a little underneath me, grumbling under his breath before freezing. I’m guessing he finally realized we had an audience. A hand patted against my back.

            “Uh… Nadia… _wake up_.” I snickered a little.

            “Never fell asleep Sans.” His hand clenched at my back.

            “…So, you mean to tell me that you _knew_ they were waking up, but you _still_ didn’t want to move? Really?!” I snorted a little and opened my eyes to the very amused audience of three.

            “…Yep. How else is Frisky Business supposed to get blackmail on you?” Sans arms whipped out and shoved me onto the floor with a rather hearty thump. I started laughing at how blue his face was. Frisk gave me a grand thumbs up and snickered.

            “And you didn’t care about how compromising that position was?” I had to bite my tongue to keep from saying anything to make his embarrassment worse. Things like _‘you’re the one that fell asleep like that’_ or _‘didn’t know you were such a cuddle bug’_.

            “NYEH! Will you just get up, you lazy bones!? Frisk still needs to have breakfast before school!” I pulled myself off the floor and sat back down on the couch where Sans had vacated only moments before, reflecting slightly on how… cozy it was to be here still… and if it was worth the potential danger. I guess only time will tell.

            After Frisk left for school with Papyrus escorting them, Sans turned toward me, his face only slightly blue.

            “So… I guess I should see about your next lesson, huh?” Toriel was cleaning up in the kitchen as we sat down on the couch.

            “You know… it’s really not necessary. To try and teach me human things. I’ve watched normal humans for _years_. I think I get the gist of it… but actually _being_ a human is just… out of my reach.” Sans’ jaw clenched as his eyes sparked with some firm emotion.

            “Lesson number two! Humans never quit! Not ever! Take Frisk, for example, they practically embody Determination. Monsters can’t handle too much Determination, but every human has at least some Determination! So, even when everything looks impossible, they don’t stop. Not for anything.” I gave him a look.

            “That’s… inspiring, I’m sure, but are you intending for it to be a… philosophical lesson or a practical one?” It was like someone popped a balloon in Sans’ chest and he just… _deflated_. I’m no expert, but I think he’s starting to see the trouble with trying to _teach someone emotions they can’t actually feel_.

            “I--… never mind, next lesson!” wow… he’s a real go-getter isn’t he?

\--So tempted to time skip my happy ass _way_ into the future here.—

            Sans was ready to scream. _All damn day he had been pulling ‘lessons’ out of his ass_ (metaphorically speaking) _but not a single one had the intended effect._ He wasn’t entirely sure what he was expecting. For Nadia to gasp and have a Disney-esque transformation into a human? Well, regardless, he stopped just before Frisk returned from school. There was something that was bothering him a little since he stormed out of the house the other day.

            “Hey… Nadia?” She hummed and turned away from the TV to look at him, “About… what happened in the room, when you turned into a Shade… why were you… uhm…”

            “More or less drowning you?”

            “Yeah. That. What was up with that?” She let out a deep breath through her nose.

            “Well, a forced transformation is really painful and pretty much anyone’s first instinct to unexpected pain is aggression, right? As a Shade, specifically a Shade of Regret, I can look at someone and see how they handle regret. My true form then changes to accommodate that. Papyrus handles regret really well. He doesn’t forget his mistakes, but takes note. You, on the other hand… not so much. You let it drown you, Sans. You don’t even try to escape. So, I became this large dripping mass and… yeah. You should probably work on that.” Sans blinked in surprise. He thought back to his mistakes and realized that she was right. For years, people have been telling him it wasn’t his fault, but he carried the blame on his shoulders anyway. Maybe…

            “Can you teach me?” She looked surprised, “I mean, I’ve been giving you all these lessons, for free mind you, and you kind of owe me.” She snorted a little.

            “Sans… that’s kind of like learning to swim by jumping into the Pacific Ocean. _Especially_ considering what happened last time.” Sans shook his head.

            “No, I mean, no practical lessons. Not yet and not without Papyrus there. I’m a little partial to my bones being all put together and stuff.” Nadia looked away, considering the matter carefully.

            “I guess it could work. I should be able to see if you actually change your approach… fine then. Let’s do it.” Sans jerked back at the surprisingly firm look in her eyes.

            “Uh… what? Like… now?” She nodded her head, “O-Okay… so… _how_ do we do this?” they both froze. It sounded great in _theory_ , but how do you learn to handle regret? It would be like trying to learn how to handle… emotions. Oh. Well then, he felt really clever all of a sudden. If she could successfully teach him to _not_ lay down and die to her true form, then she should have some practical experience with _mentally_ handling her own aspect.

            “I guess the first thing to do is _talk_ about it. Since I’m pretty much an _expert_ , I’ll start.” Nadia turned off the TV and faced him, “Regret is a feeling that follows a perceived mistake. An ‘ _I wish I_ …’ sort of feeling. It’s retrospective, meaning you look back and stop moving forward. It’s rather close to Denial. But with Regret the problem is faced, but never _actually_ resolved, rather than ignored entirely. The bigger the event impacted you, the harder it is to move on. The first step is to identify the event. What went wrong. Next, you have to assess what part _you_ have in it, if at all.” Sans nodded his head. It sounded rather simple, but he knew it wouldn’t be so in practice.

            “Okay… so, should we start with an example? I… I don’t think I’m ready to share just yet.” She nodded.

            “Alright. Let’s start with something we’re both familiar with. Have you seen The Nightmare Before Christmas?” Sans nodded, “Okay, let’s do this from _Sally’s_ point of view. Jack goes off to play Santa Clause and ruins Christmas. As we both know, Sally tried to warn him but didn’t _really_ succeed. Sally _may_ blame herself and regret not trying harder or doing something different. The first thing she’d have to do is accept that it _happened_ , as in, it took place in the past. You can’t change it, or rather, _she_ can’t change it. The second thing is to accept that, in this situation, Jack is a grown adult and can handle the consequences of his actions. He may have almost died, but it would have been on him, for not _fully_ considering the effect his actions would have. I mean, I don’t think he would have known he’d be _shot at_ , but he should have considered that such a different Christmas wouldn’t go over well. Sally has no fault in what happened.” Sans nodded again. It sounded very logical.

            “Okay, but what if the person in question _did_ have something to do with the event?” Nadia thought for a moment.

            “Alright, another example then. I’m pretty sure you’ve seen Finding Nemo. Let’s do it from Marlin’s perspective when his son gets taken away by the scuba diver. His son, despite being a minor, is his own person… or rather, his own fish. His lack of accommodating that, in part, caused this. If he didn’t smother his son so much, he probably wouldn’t have touched the boat out of rebellion. His actions and behavior stems from when his wife and other children were eaten by a barracuda. _That’s_ pretty traumatizing and physically affected even Nemo. He needed to come to terms with the death of his wife and children. There was almost nothing he could have done himself. I mean, he’s a clown fish. Against a barracuda. Not great odds to start with. He was _desperate_ to keep his only child safe. So much so that he forgot, or perhaps overlooked, that he wouldn’t be able to do that forever. By the end of the movie, he learns to treat his son like a separate, independent individual and comes out of his own shell. The events that started his whole journey were largely out of his control. He had _some_ sway, but not enough to completely guarantee that doing something different would have prevented it entirely. Rarely, if ever, is a single person _wholly responsible for an event_. That’s the biggest thing to take into account, Sans. Whatever happened was, _statistically_ , not the fault of you and you alone. Not unless you existed in a space vacuum and smacked yourself. But if _that_ affected you to that extreme level, I think we have bigger problems…” Sans snorted a little, laughter bubbling up in his chest until he was letting out heavy guffaws of laughter. That’s the scene that Papyrus and Frisk walked in on, Tori peaking in on them from folding laundry in amusement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not going to lie, i'm sorely tempted to have the heavy plot happen soon, but there are emotional bits I need to happen first. Like, what mistake did Sans' make as a Baby Bones? That'll be revealed eventually, I promise. I might be a bit slow to update for a while since I technically have /two/ stories going on right now. And a third plot bunny sprung up last night that I /really/ want to do, but I know I really shouldn't do until I finish at least one of these. My biggest problem is procrastination and finding motivation. The good news is that I like to please people, so commenting really does light a fire under my butt.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter~! If you have any questions, concerns, or requests, feel free to let loose! If you just wish to poke me with a stick to get me moving, feel free to do that too! I get an email notification every time someone comments from my phone, so I receive it regardless of if i'm home or not. Sorry for the delay~! I promise I still intend to keep going, my motivation's just shit without heavy inspiration.


	12. A Solomn Oath (Well, it's a promise, technically, but who cares?)

            Frisk was happy to be back from school, I could tell from the way they bounded over to me.

            “Hey Nadia! How’s your day been?” I shrugged.

            “Alright. Sans and I have been debating, but besides that, nothing much has happened.” I said blithely.

            “So… Nadia?” Frisk began. I gave them an odd look.

            “Yes, Frisk?” They rocked on their heels for a bit.

            “Do you think that… maybe you could… show me? Your true form?” I gave them a look.

            “Woah, you sure about that?” Sans asked nervously and I couldn’t help but agree. That _was_ a little risky… then again… I looked at Frisk. And I mean I _really_ looked. Frisk looked into my eyes with a defiance, as though they knew I was somehow passing judgement. Frisk… they handled Regret rather oddly. It was like the way Papyrus keeps his mistakes in mind, but for Frisk, every failure sticks… until they undo it. And then they’re just reminders. But what kind of mistakes could they possibly make and have the opportunity to undo?

            “They’ll be fine.” I said, looking away from Frisk’s intense gaze, “But Papyrus should probably stick around… just in case. It’ll be a bit… messy, so maybe we should go to the backyard.” Transformation, willing or not, usually seemed rather gruesome. Toriel looked a little unsure and nervous.

            “Are you sure, my child? It seems a little… _ill-advised_.” Toriel said delicately. Frisk just looked Determined.

            “It’ll be fine, Toriel. The only one in any serious danger is Sans, but I’ll be in control, so it should be fine. And like I said, Papyrus will be there, just in case.” Toriel still looked uncertain, but nodded. Frisk jumped in excitement, dragging me into the backyard with Sans and Papyrus following. Toriel settled on the back porch with Sans while I motioned for Papyrus and Frisk to back up.

            Transforming never felt… _great_ , so to speak, but there was a sort of easing on my chest as black fire consumed me and my physical form gave for the more flexible, otherworldly material I was created from. Unlike last time, I wasn’t consumed by predatory instincts as I looked around, my large, willowy form gazing around. I spotted Papyrus first, the amicable skeleton merely smiling as I shifted into my small creature form.

            “Nadia! You’re so _cute!_ ” Frisk cried out, my eyes shooting over to them as my body adjusted accordingly. Claws became suction cups as a thin layer of ashen goop began to drip off of me. My jaw structure now even less predatory than before. I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to feel about basically being a frog with a tail. I heard a little laughter from the porch but didn’t look. I didn’t want to accidentally harm Frisk, who had scooped me up gently to coo at my, _somehow_ , more adorable appearance. I clicked in irritation as Frisk laughed. My sticky grasp helping me move across their sleeve and up their neck and face.

            “You are sticky now, Nadia! How curious! Sans are you going to try facing Nadia again?” Still not wanting to trigger a change, I kept my eye on Frisk’s bangs, playing with the locks just so they would have to clean it later.

            “I don’t know, bro. Last time didn’t go so well.”

            “Fear not, Sans! For _I_ will always be there for you!” I could almost hear Sans chuckle.

            “That’s not quite what it takes, bro. She’s Regret—“

            “I _know_ Sans! And judging by what happens, you forget you’re not alone! Perhaps it would help if I held your hand?” I heard heavy steps on the wooden porch and the ruffling of fabric.

            “Woah, Paps, there’s no need! I’m _fine_ —“

            “ _Obviously_ not if you have problems simply moving, you _lazybones_!” Papyrus declared in jest as I presume he dragged Sans to Frisk. I braced myself and leapt off of Frisk’s head, hopping until I was a good distance away and Sans’ house shoes in front of me.

            “Whelp… we’re here… you can let go now, Paps…” I gave them a moment longer to continue their conversation.

            “Not until you triumph over your emotions, Sans! Nadia! We’re ready!” Papyrus declared boldly. I looked up at Sans. My body jerked and expanded, Sans’ eyes shrinking into pin-pricks. I could vaguely feel the distant instinct to drown him… but would he remain prone or would he stand? I reached a clawed hand out to him, absolutely dripping thick soot colored liquid. When my hand rested over his skull, his eyes flickered briefly, but I could _see_ the fight rise up within him. He started to give up, but the steady presence of his brother, and maybe even our talk, sparked rebellion inside him. It wasn’t much, but it was a major victory for Sans. I moved back, allowing Sans to regain a full sense of self.    

            He seemed dazed for several seconds before grinning.

            “I guess with you Paps—“

            “Sans…”

            “—The _pasta_ -bilities are endless!”

            “SANS! Enough with your infernal puns! I think we should clean up now and discuss battle strategies of the emotional and mental kind!” Sans chuckled a little, his hand still firmly clasped in Papyrus’ gloved hand despite his brother’s outburst. I shook a little and turned back, feeling a decidedly gross sensation run through me as I took back my human form. Note to self, its _way_ more pleasant to change from Papyrus’ Regret than Sans’.

            “Yeah, I think I’m good… bleh… you happy, Frisky bits?” Frisk hummed happily and nodded.

            “Yeah! It’s so _cool!_ ” Frisk giggled a little while looking at the heavy black mark on Sans’ skull. Toriel chuckled good-naturedly.

            “I think all three of you could use a good wash. Though Nadia appears to be the worst. Do you always end up covered in… that?” I nodded.

            “Yeah… Death never really cleaned their cloak, ya know? So… it’s basically _really_ old grime.” I said with a grimace, “Think you can hose me down, Paps? I don’t want to totally ruin Toriel’s nice floors.” Papyrus let out a bellowing laugh, his hand reluctantly letting go of Sans’ hand.

            “I would be glad to! Sans, Frisk? You two clean yourselves while I help Nadia with the worst of it.” Papyrus declared as Toriel led Frisk inside with Sans following casually. Papyrus walked over to the hose and turned it on, removing his gloves and putting them in his back pocket to keep them from getting wet. Gamely, I stood with my arms spread so Papyrus could hose me down. The water was cold, but I didn’t really mind, as it removed the majority of the unpleasant grime. Papyrus was actually pretty efficient. Only five minutes later, he turned off the water.

            “Thanks, Papyrus.”

            “It was no problem, Nadia, the Great Papyrus is always happy to help!” I gave him a long look, considering how to phrase this.

            “Papyrus… you know… you might be on the right track. Supporting Sans, well, for the most part at least, it’ll help. People are always stronger when they’re not alone. But you know… that won’t _really_ fix the issue.” Papyrus’ expression fell.

            “I know… I am aware that Sans has… _problems_. Problems that even I, the Great Papyrus, cannot help or solve for him. My continued support will only help, but it is not _all that he needs_ … I think that… perhaps… you’re helping him more than either one of you realize. Sans wishes to protect me from a great many things—which I appreciate greatly! But one of those is often his more weak moments. So… I ask as his brother and the only family he has left… Will you help him past this? I can think of no better person than you, Nadia.” Papyrus said, sounding a little lost and somehow afraid. At that moment I realized that, despite knowing Papyrus was a fully-functioning adult, I had underestimated him. He knew that it wasn’t just mages or humans that threatened Sans’ safety. It was also his own emotions. It definitely wasn’t a good sign that Sans wouldn’t even _try_ to fight back under the heavy weight of Regret. So… with a warm but tight feeling just on the other side of that wall, I smiled.

            “I’ll _always_ help Sans, Papyrus. I promise.” I said firmly, feeling a warm and resolute emotion build up on the other side of the glass wall. I wasn’t sure… but I think it was Determination.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! H-How's it going? It's not like I struggled ridiculously hard to find /something/ to fill this chapter. I want to push the ending because it's the only part that I /actually/ know what I want to happen. Very frustrating. Especially when I KNOW it would be rushed. But hey, if you're waiting for me to update this story, why not look at the /other/ stories I've made? This isn't the only Undertale story I've made with a non-human protagonist. I have one more! It's Underswap too! Monster I Have Become. How neat! But if you want /completed/ stories, I have two as of right now. We Are All Falling and Determined Magics. Determined Magics is a Harry Potter crossover, just so you know. Oh, and if you want this story specifically to update, feel free to request or recommend something. I need a bit more... stuff to happen before I can justify the grand finale.
> 
> So, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, it was a pain in the ass to write out since I wasn't sure what to do. Feel free to comment or make requests/recommendations whenever. JFC... yeah, whatever.
> 
> Update: 6/28/16-- I totally forgot the one romance fanfic I did for UnderFell called Sketchy as Hell. So, if you want romance, go there!


	13. Look Who's Somewhat Back with an Update? And an Apology Omake?

            It was at _least_ another week before they let me walk around without a chaperone. Well, Sans did follow at a distance, but he was being at least _mostly subtle_ about following me. Small favors I guess. Did they have some sort of secret meeting about how I wasn’t capable of staying out of trouble or something? Seriously. It was a little ridiculous. But I guess it was nice to just walk around peacefully for a while, stalker skeleton notwithstanding. At least, it _was_ , until these assholes decided that I looked like someone to mess with.

            Four guys, one barely out of high school, and every one of them looked like they ransacked homeless people for their clothes. Raggedy and ill fitting, like their attitude and temper.

            “Hey, don’t ignore us!” I huffed and rolled my eyes. How intimidating. _Not_. The taller of the four reached out and grabbed my arm. Out of the corner of my eye I spotted Sans shifting behind a corner like he was debating what to do.

            “Sorry, mom told me not to be an enabler.” I drawled as I yanked my arm out of his grip. The guy seemed to sneer a bit.

            “I wouldn’t run my mouth like that if I were you.” He spat in warning. My, what weak sauce intimidation classes are these punks taking?

            “Like what? Like I don’t want to deal with your shit? Oops. Too late for that, prick.” I sneered back, Sans moving forward as what I can only assume to be his mother-hen instincts won out over letting me handle the confrontation.

            “Hey now, what’s going on here?” Sans said casually with his ever-present grin as his eyes sharply examined the four, who in turn looked both suddenly intimidated and pissed.

            “Nothing you need to worry about, _freak_.” What I assume to be the leader spat out, “This isn’t any of your business.”

            “Yeah, Sans. Not your business. Just these four… _gentlemen_ , the hearse driver, and my business.” I growled as I looked the leader dead in the eye. I let a small amount of pure intent bleed into my gaze and he flinched.

            “There’s no need for violence. Can’t we all just… get along?” Sans asked in levity, shrugging his shoulders as though he didn’t really care either way. I snorted and let a sharp grin overtake my features, the four humans paling a bit.

            “W-Whatever man, let’s go. Not worth our time.” I huffed as they left without another word like dogs with their tails between their legs. Sans heaved a great sigh and threw his arm over my shoulder.

            “Nadia… kid… we gotta do something about your temper…” he said as we both continued to walk, “Okay, how about this? How to be a relatively well adjusted human! Lesson number who actually cares: Preservation of current life.”

            “Sans… this is totally unnecessary…” I muttered. Sans snorted and gave me a funny look.

            “Yeah, sure. Maybe. With practical immortality you don’t need to worry about mundane things like sickness, aging, or thugs, but just humor me, will you?” He asked in resignation.

            “Isn’t that what I do for all of our conversations?” I muttered in curiosity, but Sans just ignored me in favor of his unneeded lesson.

            “You see, humans are much more mortal and fragile than you currently are. As a result, many of their actions seek to preserve their current lifestyle. Most well-adjusted humans do not do reckless things. Like egging on other much more unstable individuals with their sass.” Sans said, giving me a long look, “They typically avoid physical confrontation at all costs, preferring a pacifist approach to an all-out brawl. And… that’s about all I got on the subject. Did you take any notes?” Sans asked in a sweet tone, his arm twitched as he squeezed my shoulder. I huffed a little.

            “Yeah, sure I did Professor Sans. I can’t wait for our next unneeded chat!” I said sarcastically but with a smile. Sans growled under his breath and started to steer us back home… home? Since when did Toriel’s house become my home? I wasn’t sure but… it felt… right? Huh… I belatedly noticed how Sans didn’t say anything in response, his gaze fixed forward and his grin rather tight. Following his line of sight I realized what had stopped not only our conversation without me noticing, but our walk too.

            It was the same fucking assholes that grabbed us on the grocery run. Sans looked like he was torn between beating the ever-living hell out of them and running. Not everyone in the Magician’s gang could use magic, or useful magic if at all, but they still weren’t to be trifled with. But me? Personally? I wanted to **_fucking destroy them_**.

            They looked cocky for all of two seconds, then they saw my gleeful expression and promptly had second doubts for whatever they had planned. People usually did when they suddenly found one fourth of freaking **_Death_** looking at them as though they were a delicious slice of cake. Sans however, wasn’t quite having it.

            “Come on, let’s go, Nadia.” He insisted, tugging me back with his retreating steps and firm grip. I looked at him in confusion.

            “Sans, I can handle it. Trust me. No one is immune to Regret.” I said meaningfully, the look in his eyes wavering for a split second. But then he steeled himself and grimaced.

            “You. Are terrible at listening, Nadia. We’re G O I N G. N O W.” He said with no room for argument as he jerked me backwards and we suddenly seemed to fall through nothing… right into the couch cushions, narrowly avoiding Frisk.

            “Woah! Careful there, Sans!” Frisk complained lightly as a ballet documentary played, Sans refusing to react beyond chuckling and moving his grip to my waist to I couldn’t get up.

            “Sorry, kiddo. Things got a little _tight_.” He joked easily. I huffed and shook my head.

            “Totally could have handled it.” I grumbled, Sans grip seeming to twitch just a little too tight before relaxing slightly.

            “I’m sure you could have… but let’s not chance it.” I sneered a little and relaxed. There was no way Sans would let me go walking alone for quite some time now. Fucking hell.

\--Fun little omake of if Nadia was more… innocent. Like Sunny in “I, Robot”. Intelligent but very little _functioning_ understanding of the world around them.—

            Art was such an… odd thing. It really was. I had been told, very reliably so, that everyone needs a job to make a living. But most jobs that I try tend to go… awry. People tend to be… unsettled by what they can’t understand. So, I sat in this alley and painted with spray paint and various tools of sights that I have never seen, and neither has anyone else. I then price the according to size, time, and difficulty… though… I didn’t really _need_ the money. With no functioning home or pressing desire to eat or sleep, I was rather free in a way most people just… aren’t. So, in a way, I was a lot like art. Strange. No particular function to be found, but abstractly appealing to some.

            “GET BACK HERE YOU MONSTER FREAK!” some adolescent shouted in the distance, chasing after a hurried clicking of shoes. Then a child ducked into the alley, pressing themselves against the wall in an attempt to hide or perhaps catch their breath. They seemed rather androgynous, their dark brown hair in a bob and their school uniform in disarray.

            “Hey... if you wish to hide… might I recommend the lovely space city in varying shades of red and orange hues?” I said helpfully, pointing towards the largest canvas I had propped up for sale. They wasted no time curling behind the painting. Good. I was worried they wouldn’t hear beyond the paint mask I wore. Mostly for appearance, but just because I was special didn’t mean I could just neglect my basic health. A few children about the same age as the first ran by, barely sparing me a glance, which was probably for the best. I’ve been told my lying skills leave much to be desired. But then one of them backtracked and glared at me. What a rude child.

            “You, hobo! Have you seen a kid run by? Brown bob and a dumbass expression?” I frowned at the wayward adolescent.

            “You’re really rude.” Was all I said, keeping a blank expression. Apparently, that alone was sufficient enough for the troubled child, and they promptly scampered away. After several moment, the bullied child came out from behind the painting with a shy smile, their brown eyes alight with relief.

            “Thank you…” recognizing the social cue I smiled politely and provided my name.

            “Asha.” They nodded back.

            “Thank you Asha for hiding me… I’ll just get out of your hair now.” I frowned a little and they paused as I reached up to caress my beanie. I really liked it. It kept all of my hair in one central place.

            “But I’m wearing a hat… and you’re clearly being bullied. Perhaps I should walk you home? The presence of an adult should ward off most attackers.” I added helpfully. They seemed to be confused. Was it because I called my beanie a hat? Odd… most people would have made the connection between terms already.

            “You… really don’t have to… and don’t you have to worry about your paintings? What if someone steals them?” I tilted my head to the side and considered the matter.

            “Well, I’m not sure why they would when they could pay for it… but free things are always better… but stealing isn’t nice… Hmm… you raise a good point. Perhaps I should… cover it all? With my spare tarp? Most ignore this alley anyway. Regardless, as a minor, you need supervision during uncertain times as an important part of your youthful development… and I suppose that, despite not being the _most_ qualified, I can fulfill that need.” I declared, standing up and casting the tarp over everything. I hesitated a moment before holding out my hand, “Is hand holding an acceptable form of escorting, or are you at the age where physical contact with adults makes you resentful?” I asked. They laughed, for whatever reason, and shook their head.

            “N-No! Come on, you’ll love my mom!” They happily declared. Inwardly, I felt concern.

            “Oh, child youth! I’m afraid such shenanigans are not wise! You should not lead strangers to your house for a romantic relationship with you ‘mom’.” I chastised. They just laughed a little more and continued to lead the way. This was how most of the trip went. I even tried detailing how, despite the difficulty, it is entirely possible to have a functioning household with only a single parent. This attempt was met with more laughter, which I suppose was a good thing. They didn’t seem to be laughing in malice.

            Their home seemed to be in a very nice neighborhood. I bet it even had a good school district. Their home was neat and rather tidy too. With no hesitation, they dashed to the door and unlocked it, instantly getting swept up into a very furry embrace. The furry monster, of whom I could only assume to be ‘mom’, had pure white fur and looked rather close to a goat with pearly white horns. Purple eyes locked with my own.

            “Oh! Greetings! Thank you for walking Frisk home!” She was so nice… oh dear, this was much more difficult than I originally thought. Hesitantly, I nodded.

            “I’m sorry… I cannot enter a romantic relationship with you, despite your child’s endearing attempts to play ‘matchmaker’.” I said severely. She looked incredibly confused, “It is not your appearance, I assure you! You are beautiful and your eyes are incredibly lovely… but I just… can’t.” I added, feeling rather bad. I had assumed it was just the child, Frisk, trying to ‘set me up’. Said child began laughing. I felt as though I had missed something, which was unusual… I rarely missed social cues… perhaps they were displaying a contradicting emotions to the one they truly felt?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, i'm.... really sorry. I've been arguing with myself over the plot. I /had/ a plan, but with a tweak I can continue and even give you guys a nice look into Nadia developing! Maybe even with Sans, who knows?
> 
> Oh, and if you guys /really want/ I can write up an alternate version of this story where Nadia basically acts like in the omake and go from there. Just very... naive and detached from emotions. Probably like she would have been originally if I didn't favor that darn sassy pants attitude so much! Curses! Perhaps the source of this attitude stems from being wholly unsuccessful in trying to convert into a human and a little bit of a 'Papyrus' attitude about life? *shrugs*
> 
> Well, feel free to comment or request or even recommend. It fuels my Determination! Oh... and sorry... about the delay. Still not 100 percent on that damn plot tangle.


	14. Alt!Nadia/Asha: Mostly Incorrect Assumptions about the Tea

            The furry Monster blinked in confusion and seemed to sputter for several moments.

            “W-Well… that is a shame… I think. But I do not know if I’m ready for a romantic relationship either, though it is a pleasure to meet you. Perhaps we could simply be… friends?” She stretched out a paw and smiled, “I am Toriel Dreemurr, might I have the pleasure of knowing your name?” I blinked in confusion. She took it… quite well, I should think. Such recovery! But I almost forgot the oh-so important ritual of the ‘handshake’. I took her paw and shook.

            “It is a pleasure to meet you as well, Toriel Dreemurr. I am Asha.” Toriel smiled.

            “Would you like to have some tea, Asha? Frisk seems quite _attached_ to you.” She quipped, though I wasn’t sure why. The child was currently clutching Toriel’s dress and shaking with laughter.

            “It seems more like they are attached to your dress, Toriel Dreemurr.” I stated as she led me inside.

            “Just Toriel, please. Do you have a preferred tea?” I shook my head and looked around the clean interior. It was homey and felt warm in that odd way that had nothing to do with temperature. Frisk removed their supplies and shoes before joining their mother in the kitchen where she poured three cups of tea. One of which was rather large, likely to fit properly within her equally big paws. Frisk sat down in a chair and patted the empty seat next to them. I sat down, obliging the odd child, and took a cautious sip of tea.

            I wasn’t sure what kind of tea it was, but there seemed to be a sort of… vague swirling in my chest, gossamer memories from my much more idyllic childhood stirring briefly before fading away. I wasn’t sure what sort of phenomenon this was… it hurt? But not really. Is it poison? Was that stirring of memories a sample of my life flashing before my eyes? Are my hosts so incredible that the seemingly benign tea they serve would fell the average human, but not me? Because of what I am… and what I’m not? How… incredible… and somewhat dangerous. Maybe Toriel did not take the rejection as well as I had previously thought…

            “How do you like the tea, dear?” Toriel asked. I smiled. I needed to play this off as casually as possible. If it is poison, she mustn’t know that I am aware of its dangerous properties.

            “It is quite good. I can’t taste bitter almonds at all.” I said. Toriel seemed confused, as did Frisk. So it was poisonous. I should endeavor to make a better impression, else the assassination attempts will likely continue, though to no avail.

            “Well, of course not, dear. It’s Golden Flower Tea.” Toriel said. I need to remember that, just in case I need a brand of tea that is naturally poisoned.

            “Well, it is lovely, regardless.” I said, but before I could continue there was a knock at the door. Toriel looked up I surprise before going to answer the door. Cautiously, I drank the rest of the tea, to throw off any leftover suspicion. A small welling ache bloomed in my chest again, but I brushed it off.

            “Oh! Sans! Papyrus! Please come in, it is good to see you two in good health.” I wondered idly if that particular phrase was a passcode for letting others know she has forgiven their transgressions. If so, then they must be strong individuals.

            “It’s good to see you too, Tori.” a low, smooth baritone spoke.

            “YES, QUI—My apologies, I mean, it is great to see you doing well too!” A cheerful alto proclaimed. Toriel and her two guests walked into my line of view. Oh. Skeletons? I knew that Death was not _really_ a skeleton, but perhaps they help get rid of… unpleasant individuals that displease Toriel?

            One was incredibly tall and lanky with sharp, angular features and an impeccably neat suit with orange accents. The other was much closer to my own height, but was built broadly and had eye sockets large enough so that I could see white lights that, perhaps, served as ‘eyes’. Did the tall one suffer from poor eyesight? Maybe even from the poisoned tea… I will need to take note of my own eyesight for the foreseeable future… assuming, of course, that I can still see in the next twenty-four hours.

            Anyway, the shorter skeleton was dressed in a suit as well, but his clothes were much sloppier. His shirt was untucked, he lacked a tie, and I didn’t see any creases in his clothes where, normally, there would be after being properly laundered. The shorter skeleton looked over at me and he seemed… surprised. Was it because I was here, in Toriel’s house, or because of the empty tea cup in my hand, I wonder?

            “Hey, Tori. Didn’t know you had a guest.” He said, an odd tone carrying in his voice. Toriel glanced over at me and smiled.

            “Yes, this is Asha. They helped walk Frisk home from school.”

            “The other kids were chasing me again and Nadia helped me hide, Sans!” Frisk declared, embracing Sans. He looked… uncertain as to what he should do with this information.

            “Well… that was quite nice of you… Asha.” He finally said, an odd note of hesitation in his voice.

            “It was the most responsible thing I could have done, given the rude adolescents attitude towards young Frisk.” I stated simply. I noticed a slight pleased expression on Toriel’s face. Good. She approves. Perhaps one day she might even serve me tea that is _not_ poisoned.

            “What an honorable thing to do, Asha! I am The Great Papyrus! And this is my lazy brother Sans! Are you joining us for dinner, Asha?” Great Papyrus proclaimed. Oh dear, I’m not sure I wanted to risk any more suspicion by _not_ dying in the middle of dinner.

            “I’m afraid not, Great Papyrus. I need to get back to work. Thank you for the tea, Toriel. It was nice meeting you all. Frisk. Toriel. Sans. Great Papyrus.” I stated simply and quickly left before there could be any protest, polite or otherwise.

            What a nice but dangerous group of individuals, I couldn’t help but think as I made my way through the mostly abandoned streets.

\--And now Sans! And please read author’s note at the end.—

            Today was rather like any other day for Sans. He quietly gathered information at Grillby’s place, did a few side jobs, and then nappe whenever possible to throw off any possible stalkers. Today was also a day in which he visited Toriel, his sort-of boss along with Asgore. Papyrus got to join him as well, thankfully. It was always a blast to have Papyrus with him, his brother’s low-tolerance for puns, which was Sans favorite activity, always made it a fun time. Especially since Tori enjoyed word play herself.

            But it was rather surprising when they finally arrived and found a _visitor_. An odd human with gray eyes and ratty clothes. He wasn’t sure what to make of them, to be honest. He felt a large sense of… _something_. As though they weren’t… actually human. Their odd speech only added to the somehow surreal nature that he could sense. He knew that Asgore would need to be told as soon as possible, but he also needed to find out more about this ‘Asha’. Sans looked over to Frisk and relaxed now that the odd human was gone.

            “Hey kid, so tell me about your new friend…” He said, sitting down on the couch and inviting the kid over while his brother talked to Toriel about a new ‘innovative pasta recipe’ he had found. Frisk seemed to light up.

            “Oh Sans, they’re hilarious! And a little weird, but I think you’ll like them!” Sans raised a brow, “They seemed to misunderstand me a bit, but they’re really nice! I swear!” Frisk added. What was that supposed to mean?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I seriously have a thing here! I feel so FREAKING BAD ABOUT LEAVING THIS FIC ALONE FOR SO LONG! I GET COMMENTS LIKE 'how many fics running is this so far? Five?' AND I FEEL BAD! I KNOW, I KNOW! I HAVE A PROBLEM! BUT I SWEAR I DON'T MEAN TO JUST LEAVE THEM! I JUST GET THIS COOL IDEA AND I WANT TO IMPLEMENT IT, SO I DO, AND OTHER FICS JUST... fade away. And I feel bad. But the problem for this story in particular is that, somewhere along the lines, I messed up. The story I WANTED to tell just... isn't quite possible. And I can't adjust like I thought I could, because it doesn't feel... ready for the big 'original finale' that I wanted. Like, it needs more time with the characters before I can justify it, but I LITERALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO! JFC! HALP MEH!
> 
> It's a horrible rut that I don't know how to get out of! So, the plot will have to just chill for a bit. If you have any, and I mean ANY, scenarios you want to see in this fic with the original or alternate Nadia, TELL ME. I need to have a bit of 'character' time rather than 'plot intense scene' time. So, consider this my official plea for requests.
> 
> Do you want to see a movie night with the gang? Frisk reenacting the 'therapist' scene from Lilo and Stitch 2 with Nadia/Sans/anyone/even a bouncy ball? FREAKING TELL ME, THE STORY ISN'T READY FOR ORIGINAL FINALE YET! IT NEEDS LIKE, ANOTHER HOUR ON THE STOVE OR SOMETHING. Fml. Writer's block, more like writer's damn, cause DAMNIT NO MORE WORDS WILL COME THROUGH! FUCK!
> 
> Sorry about that... anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and I REALLY REALLY HOPE to see requests or recommendations or even comments in general, cause I don't feel like such a piece of shit when i'm reminded that what product I do put out is generally enjoyed, even if it takes OVER A FUCKING MONTH. Oh, and anyone know what to call this different Nadia besides Alt!Nadia? I'm not sure what to refer to her as since they both have the same name but their stories won't run /quite/ the same way. As you may have noticed.


	15. The Truth Hurts...

            For some reason, everyone has been getting progressively more… _subdued_. I’ve been trying my hardest to not just _look_ and _see_ what the problem was. Sans has barely been able to say more than three puns this past week, Papyrus walked with barely a skip in his large steps, and Toriel often looked out the window and sighed. Inside me, something _stirred_ at the large amount of _regret_ that was pouring off the motherly monster. Particularly when Toriel wasn’t expecting Frisk to say something. Several times, she pulled out chocolate pudding mix only to shove it away before she could make any progress… it was… _strange_.

            I didn’t like it, whatever it was. Odd and _unpleasant_ murmurs echoed behind the glass wall every time they acted strangely. That distant emotion… was it… concern? Idly, some part of me knew that this city-wide emotional depression wasn’t unfamiliar. I just never really took note of it before now. I decided to ask Sans at the first opportunity. He _positively reeked of Regret_.

\--And I want to know _why_.—

            Asgore sat behind his finely carved maple oak desk, his office darkened to suit his mood. The desk was cleared of everything but two separate photos. Both of which he kept hidden every other time of year, but _this_ week. One was a formal portrait photo of his lovely Toriel and himself. She looked so beautiful in her formal royal purple robes, matched only by her decadent smile as she couldn’t resist sneaking in one last whispered pun, just before the photographer captured their likeness. He was _supposed_ to look large and imposing. The photo to be placed above his desk as an imposing reminder of his power, alongside the heart of his Soul. But instead, his shoulders caved slightly and his face softened with surprised amusement. Instantly, his dear Toriel created a priceless and decidedly _private_ family photo.

            He had long since given up drinking this week away, choosing, instead, to isolate himself and remember his little family before it all crumbled apart. With a great and trembling paw, he picked up the _other_ family photo, taken by his great friend and previous scientist, Gaster. He could not control the tears that slid down his fur. _Oh, his sweet **children**_.

\--It is the young that pay the price of the mistakes of the adults.—

            Papyrus was running an errand with Toriel and Frisk was spending the night with a friend. It was only Sans and myself in the house right now. _The perfect time for an interrogation_. I relaxed against the back of the couch, deciding on the casual approach.

            “So… you guys have been acting weird lately.” I stated, “…What’s up with that?” Sans jerked his head towards me, his eye lights wide but dull in horror. Quickly, he glanced away, awkwardly shifting on the cushions.

            “Oh… heh…. you noticed?” I gave him a look, though he never noticed since he never looked _at me_.

            “How could I not. I saw Papyrus frowning this morning. _Papyrus_. Toriel has also been… distant lately. You’ve been weird too.” I said, catching his quick glance with an unyielding expression, “It’s like you’ve lost all that progress Papyrus and I helped you get. If I wasn’t _myself_ right now, you’d _drown_. Or rather, you’d _sink yourself_.” I whispered, that sharp pain etching through the glass wall. The pain I liked the least, but had been making an appearance quite often as of late. Sans seemed to be trying to merge with the couch.

            “It’s uh… not something you need to worry about.” I narrowed my eyes at him, “Just, look, okay? Don’t worry about it.” I sneered at the _weak emotions_ _pouring off of him_. It made my skin itch. Made me want to snarl like he was _prey_.

            “Bullshit.” I snapped, crowding Sans, rather like he did to me in the graveyard, “All this talk on how to act like a human, and you expect me to act aloof and unemotional when it involves my _friends hurting_?” I demanded, recognizing that we were both rather alike. We needed an aggressive party to shove us out of our stupidity.

            “I-I—“

            “No.” I growled, hovering over him as my other form leaked into my being, giving me an ashy complexion and dark shadowy eyes, I hated doing this, but I clearly needed something more than firm refusal to move Sans, “ _You reek of Regret, Sans_. I suggest you appeal to my _human side_ before my nature as a _Shade_ comes into play. **Talk**.” Sans was cowed, at first, likely because I managed to appear larger than him and changed my appearance. But then his eyes brightened like supernova stars and he snarled back at me.

            “ _Friends_ respect each other’s boundaries, _Nadia_!” Sans hissed, shoving me back, “And **I don’t want to talk about it**.” this time he was hovering over me, his expression feral. I decided to switch gears. If I pushed the violent route any more, Toriel would have _quite the mess_ to clean up when she got home. My arms snapped out and dragged Sans to my chest, burying his head into the cradle of my arms and torso.

            “ _Not_ when their boundaries will lead them off of a _fucking cliff_ , Sans!” I whispered, he struggled against me, trying to escape my tight grip, and he would have succeeded if I had been human. _But I wasn’t_. “I’m… not good with emotions, Sans.” He paused, likely because of the constricted tone my voice held, like his hands were gripping my throat rather than my shirt.

            “…Mf?” I glared at my quivering hand, shaking just inches from his skull, before putting it down, another sharp pain shooting through me. This needs to stop. I _couldn’t take it anymore_.

            “I’m a coward. Selfish.” I said, leaning my head back and more knives carved my insides apart, “But you’ve all been acting… off. And ever since, I’ve _felt_ this horrible pain, Sans. Every time Toriel flinches when Frisk turns around, and the kid looks solemn. For every moment Papyrus sits there, quietly staring at his boots like he’ll find _answers_. A-And… when I pass by you and feel nothing but _Regret_ , Regret so deep my instincts whisper _prey_.” Sans stopped struggling, instead choosing to turn his head so he could speak and look at me with one dim light.

            “…Nadia?”

            “I’ve been running in place _for years_ , Sans. Running from the same emotions that could set me free. Maybe I’m not being a good friend right now. But I can’t handle feeling so _human_ , Sans.” I winced as another crest of pain rolled through my chest and squeezed my throat. _Fuck_ … I couldn’t be what Sans needed, not as I am right now, but how could I possibly _change_?

            “The last time I felt like this, I had lost _everything_. And that _terrifies me_. More than should be possible… I-I… I’m not supposed to _feel_ , Sans.” I squeezed my eyes tightly as I released him, “…You don’t have to say anything. I-I just want to help you… make it stop _hurting_.” I wasn’t sure who I was talking about anymore as I let my arms go limp. But his weight never lifted, in fact, it shifted so he was properly straddling me. His hands running gently over my face. _Fuck_ , even that _hurt_. W-Was I dying? Is that it? Son of a bitch, is dying supposed to take so _long_?! Just get the tunnel of light over with already, fucking hell!

            “… Five years before the Monster Ally Massacre, there was an event. A sort of… convention thrown by Asgore and Toriel that lasted a week. It was their fourth year pulling it off, a great convention to show off monster culture, tradition, and even some technology. To ease the pressure between monsters and humans.” I opened my eyes and glanced down Sans in surprise. Somehow, this sounded _familiar_ , “My o-old man… he was Asgore’s top scientist, so he naturally had a presentation. It was the first year I got to help him, I was _so excited_ … then this human came up to me, asking about where to find the stage controls. I thought he was a technician to help with the presentation, so I **told him where to go**.” His phalanges dug into my ribs brutally as he snarled, luminous blue tears piling up at the rims of his sockets.

            Rather than easing the pain, like I expected, it actually seemed to _increase_. I reached up, gently cradling his skull, his whole body twitching in surprise. I had been extraordinarily young when it happened, but I knew what he was talking about now. I sat up, forcing him to look me in the eyes. My eyes were burning again but, compared to the pain now happily nesting in my chest, it was nothing.

            “I… remember now… you don’t have to say any more, Sans.” I closed my eyes and gently tapped my forehead against his, “ _It wasn’t your fault_ … The man was just being a piece of shit. Any good _assassin_ already knows the entire layout of their hit. You work with the _mafia_ , Sans. You should _know this_. So… _please stop hurting yourself over this_.” I whispered, the burning sensation finally relieved when I opened my eyes. But Sans was looking at me strangely. His eyes seemed to glitter with unshed tears as his phalanges gently brushing underneath my eyes. At first, I didn’t get _why_ , but then I noticed it. His phalanges were _wet_.

\--And because I’m a dick, back to Asgore for round 2 of emotional pain.—

            He chuckled wetly, looking at the picture. Back then, he had an entire private garden _full of golden flowers_. His wife was the best at maintaining them, but he brewed them for tea. His lovely children gathered them, usually wasting _so many flowers on silly crowns_ , but he never cared. Not when Asriel, his sweet little boy, laughed so freely as he dumped a bundle of petals on Chara, his adoptive human sibling. Chara, oh sweet little Chara, so shy of their eyes and expressing themselves. Despite their hard life before joining his family, they were so _hopeful_ , so _Determined_ to make things right.

            But on the last day of Monster Convention Week, it happened. An explosion, costing a dozen of his people, his best friend, a generous handful of curious humans, and his two children. An assassination to weaken his group. And it did. Shortly after, in order to protect his wife, he staged a nasty break-up, which she reluctantly went along with. She no longer had the heart to be a beacon of hope for their people. He was relieved, and worried, when dear Toriel adopted Frisk. They looked so much like Chara, but was of no relation.

            On this week, and this week only, he allowed himself to mourn all he had lost. And all he had given away. Cursed to watch his wife heal from afar, no longer able to comfort her, as was his oh so cherished right previously. Some days, he wished Vengeance didn’t fuel him so… then he could pass to dust in peace. But then, who would watch his dear wife, ensure her safe life from their troubled past? Who would lead his people? And so, he stood resolutely against all threats, resting only that single week a year. That one time where he allowed himself to _break_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Haha...hah. Oops? Well, I realized I didn't have to save this bit for after the finale, and decided to skate it out. I think I can finish this now. Mostly, I just had to kick my own ass enough to get going, but hey, i'm back! Let's just... uhm, see if it lasts, yeah?
> 
> Awkwardly, the abashed Mama Mittens presents you with this chapter, with the hopes that you like it. Even if it really hurts. Like, damn. /Ow/
> 
> Feel free to comment, request, recommend, or even party. You guys are /way too patient/ with me. Like, seriously. Completely brilliant.


	16. The Art Museum and Alt!Nadia/Asha short!

            Frisk has to be the _strangest_ child I’ve ever met. It was nearing the end of what was the most depressing week for monsters and they had apparently had enough.

            “Mom.” Frisk declared, “I think we should go out. All of us.” Toriel looked rather surprised at their outburst. To be honest, I was pretty surprised as well. Toriel put away the chocolate mix for the fifth time today and sighed.

            “…Perhaps you are right, my child. What do you suggest?” Frisk looked over at me and smirked.

            “Well, I’d say an art museum, but we already have a _several_ masterpieces here.” Frisk flirted, giving Sans, Papyrus, Toriel, and myself a significant glance. I snorted a little.

            “Cool it over there. I can barely handle the heat from here.” I drawled. Frisk giggled and rocked on their heels. Toriel looked distant for a small moment before smiling softly and nodding her head.

            “An art museum sounds wonderful.” Toriel said.

            “Should I _brush_ up on the Renaissance?” Sans asked, causing Papyrus to give a long groan of disgust.

            “Sans!”

            “Or maybe Nadia would rather I not give off that kind of…”

            “ _Sans_.”

            “ _Impression_.” Sans finished with a grin.

            “That’s it! We’re leaving now before you say _one more_ terrible pun!” Papyrus exclaimed, grabbing Sans by his collar and standing up. Toriel and Frisk laughed.

            “Very well. Let me get my coat and keys. Frisk, don’t forget shoes and a coat for yourself.” Toriel said. I sighed and got off the couch, glad that the ambient emotion of the household had lightened up significantly in the past few minutes.

\--Where, once more, I choose more than one option. Cause I can’t make decisions to save my life.—

            The city’s art museum was actually really nice. Of course, it was located in the better part of the city, which was a rather decent drive from Toriel’s place. But I didn’t really expect anything else. They quite a few nice exhibits out, including a few fakes of very famous paintings. Well, they called them ‘copies’, but I’m pretty sure no one was fooled.

            Toriel was gladly being dragged around by Frisk, who also made sure that I was following for some reason. They glanced around at the different painting in the ‘local artists’ section and gasped.

            “Nadia! You have a painting in here?” Frisk asked in awe. Mildly surprised, I looked over and immediately spotted what they were talking about.

            “Impressive Nadia!” Papyrus exclaimed, leaning in to take a closer look at the painting. I had painted that a little over a year ago, a strange crystalline forest on a distant planet. It was fun to work on. Now that I think about it… the person who bought it was wearing a very nice suit and asked if it was alright to put up in some public area. I didn’t realize he meant the museum, naturally but, hey? What can you do?

            “…It’s nice.” Sans quietly said, bumping my shoulder softly. I looked over and smiled but before I could say anything an older gentleman in a suit tapped my opposite shoulder.

            “Pardon me, but is it correct that you painted that?” he asked, his face lightly covered in gray stubble that matched his short hair.

            “Yes, why do you ask?” the man held out his hand to shake and I complied.

            “I’ve been admiring that work for quite a few months now. I own a gallery and I think I could use a wing of work just like that. Would you be interested?” he asked. I smiled.

            “Sure thing. Do you have any idea of the details? How many? The size and topic?” I asked professionally. The man’s dark eyes practically lit up as he pulled out a card with his address and name. Huh. Victor Burns. Don’t think I’ve ever heard that one before. The address was pretty posh too.

            “This is the address of my gallery, as well as the number to call, perhaps we can set up a time for you to visit and we can talk more?” Mr. Burns asked. I pocketed the card.

            “Yeah, sure thing. Might even bring my friends. Frisk is really into art so far and I think it would be a good experience for them.” I said. Mr. Burns nodded eagerly.

            “Of course, you and your friends are welcome, just make sure to call ahead! I’ll stop bothering you now…” he said and just calmly walked away with a cute little skip in his step. I didn’t know grown men could do that…

            “…Oh, thanks, Sans.” I said, returning to what I was saying before that. Sans looked rather… odd. Like he was tired but also just done, “Sans?” He blinked, his usual grin slipping back into place.

            “Oh, uh… no problem, Nadia. No problem.” He said, drifting off as Frisk pulled Toriel into a new direction with Papyrus happily following behind.

\--Alt!Nadia is now Asha (thanks fakeivy!)—

            It took a while, but eventually, Sans did find Asha again. They were crouched into an alley with an array of paintings before them. Currently, they seemed to be working on spraying a blue and green canvas completely black. He watched for a while as the human then proceeded to scrap away small sections, seamlessly creating a fish under water. Huh.

            After setting the painting to dry they looked up at him with blank gray eyes and patted their lap rhythmically.

            “…Well, Sans, is there something you needed?” They asked. Once again, Sans was struck with the overwhelming feeling that Asha just… was human. Or rather, a _normal_ human, at the very least. They just seemed… _off_. Sans sighed and rolled his shoulders, keeping a neutral grin on his face.

            “I was curious as to what kind of person ya were… not many would have stuck their neck out for the kid like that.” Sans said, deciding to be blunt. Asha’s expression scrunched up into confusion.

            “I did not though… Stick my neck out, that is.” they clarified, much to Sans’ confusion, “Rather, I sat here quietly and kept my head down. Rather like a turtle, but not literally. There were no exposed necks involved.” Asha said. Sans was… dumbfounded. He also suddenly understood what the kid was talking about. He chuckled, letting an amused whistle slip past his teeth.

            “Heh… you’re pretty funny. But regardless, I need to know a bit more about you. Can’t have bad influences around the kid and all that.” Sans said. Asha grimaced.

            “Oh dear… why does this keep happening?” Asha whispered to their self, “You are an attractive… skeletal-based monster, Sans. But I’m afraid I do not share a romantic interest in you or Toriel. Nor am I interested in this budding love triangle. I hope you do not take it personally.” Sans let out a startled laugh that just _wouldn’t stop_. He tried to muffle it with his hand but failed. _Love triangle? With Tori and himself? Asgore would **kill** him! Let alone what Tori might do, depending on what the triangle looked like…_ It took quite a bit to pull himself together again.

            “Mweh-heh… hehe… Oh, t-that’s not… definitely not what I meant.” Sans said, wiping away a tear, “I’m just… protective of them is all. Heh… oh boy, I’ve gotta go. About time for my break.” He said, walking away and disappearing, the occasional chuckle slipping out. He didn’t know if he could keep what little composure was left if he stayed. Asha was an absolute riot!

\--That time when they magician gang caught them.—

            Sans kept his cool despite the ominous chanting coming from the intercom. Monsters didn’t have an alternate form after all, though Asha seemed a little nervous.

            “Heh, don’t worry yourself, kid.” he reassured them, “Monsters don’t have some darker form.”

            “Indeed, this is a rather elaborate and silly prank for us more than anything.” Asha looked at Papyrus and frowned.

            “Well, that’s good for you. But I’m afraid I do, since I’m not human… My apologies if this seems to be a cruel revelation, but it was never my intention to fool either of you.” Sans snorted.

            “Kid, I’ve known for a while that you weren’t normal…” Sans said before a flash of light erupted in the room and black fire consumed the strange human. Well, perhaps not really _human_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tada! A new chapter! Isn't this nice? I'm still... trudging along a bit with this fic, but at least it's not totally dead in the water. Also, I went back and changed Alt!Nadia's name in the previous chapters to Asha, per fakeivy's suggestion! If any of you guys have a particular thing you'd like to see, please do mention it! Every little bit helps!
> 
> I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Feel free to comment, request, or recommend!


	17. Revamping It.

Okay, this is the second time i'm doing this. Something went belly-up with my wifi before I could properly send it in last time. Basically, I'm rewriting it. In general, i'm not happy with what I've done. I still like the basic idea, the relationships I've created, but the execution is crap. I'll keep this story up but put a note in the summary about it being rewritten. Like, seriously, this is pretty damn tame for a mafia-centric verse. There's so much _I could be fucking doing with this universe but i'm not_.

 

If you guys have, for whatever reason, been keeping quiet about things you don't like, feel free to let loose. It's better to keep the constructive criticism in mind before I start than have it pop up later when the problem isn't fixed. It'll take a while to properly dissect what I've done and what I actually want, so don't expect the whole thing tomorrow. I'll probably open up a word document and do a 'train of thought' exercise.

 

This is a bit of a bitter pill to swallow, mostly because I hate repeating myself, and a rewrite is sort of like that. My dislike at rewriting my material and procrastination are my biggest known flaws when it comes to writing. Speaking of which, it really makes me nervous when I continuously receive _only_ positive feedback. Not sure why, it just does. Hopefully, I can take negative feedback well, but since I can't recall a single instance (besides one time where a commenter recommended I read the HP series since I was a bit wooly on Harry's personality. I was a bit salty because A) Harry was eight in the story, so basically all of the events in the series was irrelevant, even if I _hadn't_ already read the series, and B) the movies were my mom's bedtime stories basically. I've fallen asleep to those movies _so many fucking times I swear to god_...) it's a bit of a toss-up. If any of you guys feel i'm being overly-salty with you, call me out. I'm naturally a saltine cracker, but I swear I don't like being needlessly rude. Best results if you beat proper behavior into me with logic. Cause I hate being illogical/hypocritical even more than repeating myself.

 

Apologetically yours,

Mamamittens


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